They envy me. What to do? People envy me, how can I protect myself from negativity? What to do to make everyone jealous

Man is a social being; he is constantly in society and in contact with its members. The individual always strives to become better not only for himself, but also for those around him. After all, you want to live in such a way that others understand how monotonous their lives are in comparison with yours. How to become a reason for the envy of others?

Work on yourself

The desire for success is natural for people. They often compare themselves to others. This is especially true for young girls. How to improve in order to raise your standard of living?

1. The envy of others is characteristic of those who look good. If a girl takes care of herself, it always becomes a reason for conversation. To always look fresh, you need to be able to rest properly. To get enough sleep, it is not necessary to increase the number of hours of sleep; on the contrary, it is better to limit it to 6 hours. But the quality of rest should be improved. Sleeping on a comfortable mattress and not interrupting your sleep with extraneous noise is the key to a healthy appearance.

You should always use quality care products. This should be done both in the morning and in the evening. Well-groomed skin is the key to success. The same can be said about hair and natural daytime makeup. The blooming view will make people feel jealous.

2. Doing what you love. Happy is the person who works where he dreamed. Walt Disney also said that work should be loved. They will only be jealous when it becomes clear that you are not just earning big money, but are also doing it for the sake of the process itself.

3. Evenings for yourself. To feel happier and calmer, you need not only to devote yourself to some goals, but also to be able to be alone with yourself. Your weekend should be spent in such a way that you forget about minor troubles. After all, life is built from little things.

Communication with others

There is no need to try to make people feel worse around you. It's worth being successful simply to feel better. After all, they envy only those who do not pay attention to the sidelong glances around them.

Ecology of consciousness: Psychology. Until you clearly and carefully understand other people's praise or flattery, you should not take their words seriously. Behind all these compliments there may be secret intentions towards you.

“Envious people are a problem for others, but at the same time they torment themselves.” - William Penn.

There is nothing worse than having achieved success and realizing that the people around you are not proud of you, but rather cultivate envy. Moreover, a jealous attitude can provoke extremely unkind actions, especially when it comes to your achievements.

8 Signs That Someone Near You Is Envy of You

Psychologist Stephen Stosny says that feelings of envy “make you think about the same thing over and over again, and the more you do it, the further away you become from reality. Emotions create the illusion of confidence, and envy makes you confident in your perception of the world.”

Each of them had to experience this unpleasant emotion. It's not easy to feel like other people are jealous of you. We tend to control our own feelings, but we cannot control the emotions of others.

The ability to recognize signs of envy will help you get out of an unpleasant situation without losses.

1. People give you insincere compliments.

When people start to envy you, the first thing they usually do is compliment you. They can sound both quite sincere and with secret malice. However, if you leave the room for a minute, they will immediately start rolling their eyes.

Most likely, envious people would rather pretend that they are not jealous than directly express their emotions. The only way out that will help in this situation is to sincerely praise the envious person when he really succeeds in something. This behavior will help people see you as a good and sincere person and curb their envy.

Ph.D. and clinical psychologist Leon F. Seltzer says:

“Until you clearly and carefully understand other people's praise or flattery, you should not take their words seriously. Behind all these compliments there may be secret intentions towards you. This way, you can minimize the possibility that their seemingly sincere compliments may actually turn out to be nothing more than two-faced attitude."

2. Your success is not taken seriously.

No matter what you have achieved or how hard you have to work to achieve your goal, your envious people will always act as if you were just lucky.

Master M. Farouk Radwan said:

“The people who envy you the most are the ones who need what you have the most.”

You shouldn’t follow their lead; most likely, this will only provoke negative conversations about you. Keep yourself in control and don't lose confidence. You should not show off your success in front of envious people, as you will only increase the negativity towards yourself.

3. Show off their achievements.

Envious people, as a rule, tend to show off their success, and to a greater extent than they deserve. Such people try to show off even more at the very moment when you are celebrating your own achievements. As a rule, envious people are quite capable of announcing their engagement right at your wedding.

What makes them do this? Most likely, they are not as successful as you.

Bob Bly says:

“In our world there are always people whose heads are filled with negative thoughts. And not necessarily about those they envy, but also about themselves, their perceived inability to achieve their goals."

Such people can only think rationally about their behavior when they are upset. Try expressing your sincere praise for what they themselves have achieved. In order to change the way a person behaves, it is best to show him how to do it by example.

4. They imitate you

People prone to envy subconsciously want to seem better than you, or try to imitate you. In order to feel better about themselves, such people may imitate your communication style or clothing style.

Instead of getting upset, try to encourage them to follow their path. Try to encourage them when they try to do something on their own. Show them that you don't have to imitate you to be yourself.

5. They compete with you

Envious people are characterized by a constant struggle for leadership, because they are in a constant pursuit of success.

Psychologist Melanie Greenberg writes that such people “they can be dangerous, or they can be too arrogant and want to seem better than others”.

Nevertheless, you may have a desire to put the envious person in his place. If they try to get into an argument with you about a promotion at work, It’s best to stick to this phrase: “I’m not competing with you”. If you don't follow their lead, they will lose interest in competing with you.

6. They rejoice at your mistakes.

An envious person always rejoices when you fail at something or when you receive a reprimand. And although such people may hide their true feelings from you, in their hearts they are always satisfied with your defeat.

Be completely calm about your mistakes! It's never too late to tell envious people that we all learn from our mistakes. If you don't show your frustration, your envious people won't be able to enjoy your failures.

7. They gossip behind your back.

Envious people always manage to discuss you secretly. This is not funny at all, since they tend to spread very ugly rumors. The best way to stop such people is to confront them directly.

“People’s negativity is a kind of wall. Concentrating thoughts only on the negative, as a result, can start the mechanism. Negative emotions, anger and feelings of self-doubt are guaranteed to win. Your consciousness will follow what your attention is focused on. Criticism and negativity won’t stop you from achieving your goals, but they can definitely distract you from it.”

Since envious people are generally not hostile, a serious conversation may be enough to get them to think about it and stop spreading rumors.

8. They hate you for no reason.

If people hate you for no reason, most likely they are just jealous of you. Realizing that we are hated by others when we are doing nothing wrong can be a very difficult experience. It is quite possible that you will have a desire to please your envious person. However, you may not succeed. In this case, it is better to simply remove such a person from your life.

You don't need this negativity, and most likely, envious people themselves suffer due to the fact that they unjustifiably hate others. Just let these people go.

Envy is a very difficult situation for each of us. A person may have a desire to tell the envious person everything he thinks about him. However, calm and positive behavior will be the best way to solve the problem, both for you and for your envious person.

Of course, every representative of the fairer sex, no matter how old she is, should have an impeccable appearance. This is a way not only to be visually young, but also to attract attention from the opposite sex. However, not all ladies know how to look well-groomed always and everywhere.

Many of them, looking at themselves in the mirror, are forced to be upset because of their existing shortcomings. To fix this, you should give some recommendations on how to look well-groomed. It's not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. It is enough to devote fifteen minutes to your appearance every day.

So, let's move on to a practical consideration of the question of how to look well-groomed.

First of all, you need to train yourself to wake up one hour before going to work. This time will be enough to get ready, get dressed and have breakfast. It is important to remember that haste in this matter is a bad help. in the morning after waking up? The main thing is not to fuss. If you run around the house searching and at the same time somehow combing the hair on your head, then you will never achieve the above goal. First you need to calm down and finally wake up. To do this, perform a few simple physical exercises. Then take some water treatments and start preparing breakfast. When eating, give up coffee, preferring green tea or juice.

Next, you can begin applying daytime makeup and styling your hair. The clothes you intend to wear to work should be prepared in advance so as not to waste precious time in the morning looking for them.

When you come home in the evening, be sure to take a bath; it would be a good idea to use it on your face, neck and hands.

You should visit a fitness club or gym weekly to exercise. If you don't want to lift and lower dumbbells, you can join a swimming pool - this is also a great way to keep fit.

To attract the attention of men, you must regularly update your wardrobe. Choose a time to go shopping to purchase several new styles of dresses or blouses. Choose bright and rich colors, make sure that things highlight the advantages of your figure and hide its flaws.

Considering the question of how to be well-groomed, it would be useful to once again emphasize that a woman should systematically visit hairdressing salons. Specialists will not only give you an elegant hairstyle, but also give you the best recommendations for caring for your hair.

If you have problem skin, then you need the help of a professional cosmetologist. If you don’t know how to apply makeup correctly, you can’t do without consulting a makeup artist. He will recommend the most suitable masks and creams for your skin.

And, of course, your efforts should be appreciated. All women know that you especially want to be beautiful when someone loves you.

You are choosing between two veil styles, and your friend has separated from her husband. She was kicked out of her rented apartment, and you are making repairs in a brand new three-room apartment. And in general, you have a series of successes, and she has a long bad streak. The complex range of feelings and emotions on both sides often leads to misunderstandings and resentment, and in the worst case, completely destroys the relationship. In order not to lose either yourself or your friend, listen to the advice of psychologist Eulalia Prosvetova.

WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO? YOU ARE TORTURED BY A FEELING OF INAPPROPRIATE GUILT

FIRST PERSON:“We will have a second one!” — I joyfully shout into the phone. “Congratulations,” Svetka says dryly and then desperately whispers in a voice that is not her own: “Well, why, why is it all for some and nothing for others?” We never remembered this conversation, but for several years, until, after a dozen clinics and doctors, Svetka’s wonderful boy Danya was born, I felt guilty every time the conversation turned to children.”

Guilt is a complex mechanism. On the one hand, it is triggered by innate empathy, on the other, it is formed in childhood under the influence of parents, teachers and books about squirrel bunnies. Did the boy fall? Have pity! Is Tanya's doll broken? Let her play with her teddy bear. We clearly know: when a person feels bad, he needs help. Unless, of course, you are an insensitive egoist. But there are situations when your help still won’t solve the problem completely, and the subconscious often interprets it this way: “I didn’t help because I didn’t try enough, and if that’s the case, then I’m bad.”

First of all, it is important to understand that the reason for your friend’s unhappiness is not you. You are responsible for your destiny, and nothing more. And you are not guilty of anything before your friend (of course, provided that her ex-husband did not leave for you). Every person has bright and dark periods in life. It so happens that at the moment you are lucky, but she is not. And, no matter how worried you are about her, you are not at all ashamed to be happy for yourself. If she gets the flu, you won't immediately run to get infected, will you?

When we feel guilty, we involuntarily try to make amends for it: to adjust somewhere, to sacrifice our principles or desires somewhere. But sooner or later all this will result in involuntary protest, irritation and negativity, so you need to get rid of guilt. And to begin with, it would be useful to understand how you can really help, and what you are powerless to do.

ON THE OTHER SIDE It is possible that your friend is experiencing feelings of bitterness, resentment and even envy. The best way is to acknowledge and accept it. Don’t keep silent, but calmly discuss the problem, saying: “I’m very happy for you, but I’m sad that things aren’t going well for me.”

BAD SIGN If it seems to you that they are trying to manipulate your feelings of guilt, and the phrases “it’s easy for you to say” and “if only you were in my place” are said too often, take a closer look at the relationship as a whole. Momentary incontinence is one thing, but a permanent position is another: I feel bad, and you owe me everything.

FOR A SMALL COMPANY YOU TRY TO SUPPORT YOUR FRIEND, BUT SHE CONSULTS WITH THOSE WHO HAVE SIMILAR DIFFICULTIES.

FIRST PERSON:“I have an affair at work, butterflies in my stomach and a desire to embrace the whole world. A young man left Zhenya in a mean and ugly manner, and he had health problems as well. I came to her with goodies, tried to encourage her, but came across coldness. And at the same time, she was frank on the blog with less close people only because they are in the same situation.”

Man is a social being; the opportunity to share his experiences is important to him. But if feelings are bitter, and even while everything is fine with our inner circle, we begin to feel dysfunctional and lonely.

Communication with people who find themselves in a similar situation gives a feeling of unity with the world. That’s why mothers on the playground enthusiastically discuss their children’s illnesses, daughters-in-law discuss their evil mothers-in-law, and interlocutors on forums in the topic “He turned out to be a scoundrel” discuss their exes. Experienced comrades will suggest a good specialist, the right address, or simply share how they found peace of mind. Therefore, you should not be offended by your friend - now she more needs someone whose story will show the normality of her own and, using a concrete example, will convince her that everything will definitely be fine.

ON THE OTHER SIDE Perhaps interlocutors “by interests” are now closer and more understandable. But you shouldn’t take the position “I don’t need consolation” as “I don’t need you.” Most likely, your friend will enjoy conversations on another, more neutral topic.

BAD SIGN If you feel that they haven’t talked to you frankly for a long time, take a closer look at yourself - maybe they are not opening their soul to you because of categorical assessments, a desire to teach or involuntarily be ironic.

I WOULDN'T SAY YOU DON'T KNOW IF YOU NEED TO SHARE YOUR JOYS.

FIRST PERSON:“So how’s it going at work?” - asks Lala’s close friend and former colleague, and I mumble something unintelligible. Fate played a trick - the new bosses fired Lala for an accidental offense (and she was in search for several months), and, ironically, I was promoted at the same time. I really want to discuss the nuances of my work and ask for advice, but it’s somehow awkward.”

ON THE OTHER SIDE Maybe your friend is really sincerely happy for you, and your example causes her not bitterness at all, but optimism: “It worked for her, so it works for me.” Your task is to support her and try to convince her of the correctness of this view.

BAD SIGN If your communication has long been taking place in the form of your passionate and endless monologue, urgently start turning it into a dialogue. Be sure to involve a friend in the discussion: ask her advice or ask for help, even small and insignificant, but only so that she does not feel “overboard.”

TOUGH TALK COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR FRIEND HAS BEEN TOO HARD FOR YOU.

FIRST PERSON:“When I see Alina’s sad look, her drooping shoulders, I feel uneasy. I cannot help her sister Lyuba, who is in the hospital awaiting a serious operation. And at the same time, for some reason, I involuntarily imagine my beloved sister in Lyubin’s place. It’s so scary and difficult that sometimes I don’t even want to meet with my friend and talk about this topic.”

Psychologists divide human life into three categories - everyday, ordinary and non-everyday. The latter includes force majeure, severe and unpleasant events - from illnesses (your own and not only), problems at work and total accumulated stress to terrorist attacks, earthquakes, tsunamis and the eruption of the Eyjafjallajökull volcano. Our consciousness protects itself by denying any possibility of atypical, frightening situations: “This simply won’t happen to me.” This is why we unconsciously try to turn a blind eye to the misfortunes happening around us and not read news reports: we simply don’t want to let them into our world. These same defense mechanisms include fear of communicating with people who find themselves in difficult life situations.

Such a reaction is quite normal for any person, but still there is no need to take it to the point of absurdity. You are not a child for a long time and you know for sure that difficult and unpleasant events can happen to anyone, but you should not “be afraid in advance” and you certainly should not avoid those who are faced with serious problems. It should be understood that someone else's misfortune, unlike a cold, is not contagious - on the contrary, it helps us understand the value of what we have.

ON THE OTHER SIDE In such a case, your friend senses your fears, and in general some isolation around her - you are not the only one who strives to “isolate yourself from the bad.” All the more important for her now is your support and communication. This does not mean at all that you need to walk around with a sad look and talk to her in a sympathetic whisper. On the contrary, advice to unwind, go to the cinema or just for a walk is 100 percent applicable

BAD SIGN If you notice frightening signs of depression in a friend (decreased concentration, lack of self-confidence, guilt, pessimism, sleep and appetite disturbances), support alone will not be enough. Urgently advise her to go to a specialist, this is not something to joke about.

Anna Morgunova
PHOTO: ACP