Everyone who is engaged in self-development knows that he cannot do without a feeling of discomfort. Quite often, people confuse discomfort with a black streak in life and start complaining, or even worse, trying to avoid change. But as experience shows, only by going beyond comfort can we find and acquire all the benefits that we need.

Many people cannot imagine their day without one or more cups. And it turns out that drinking coffee is not only tasty, but also healthy! If you are not complaining of serious health problems, then you can drink a few cups of this delicious drink without remorse and enjoy its benefits.

Laziness, this is the character trait that each of us, to a greater or lesser extent, can find, so this article is dedicated to all readers, without exception.

Self-pity is difficult to notice right away, from the very beginning. It penetrates into a person's life very slowly, and it is very difficult to remove it later. And only at the moment when the first alarm bell rings, understanding comes. Despite the fact that it appears when the situation already requires an immediate solution. Therefore, it is important to know and understand in advance what self-pity is and how it manifests itself.

10 life truths everyone should remember

Perfectionism is the belief that the ideal can and should be achieved. The perfectionist always strives for excellence, be it the look, the work task, or the environment around him. In this article, we will share 5 lessons teaches perfectionism.

Nobody questions the progress of science in the modern world. If you asked our distant and not very ancestors about psychological problems, they would simply throw up their hands - they say, what is it? Modern psychology easily juggles definitions: the Oedipus complex, the excellent pupil's complex, the inferiority complex, the sacrifice complex ... How can one get rid of complexes and various psychological problems, from everything that prevents you from living a harmonious life, being a strong and free person?

Sometimes life teaches us such lessons that are difficult to find in manuals and textbooks. Life experience does not depend on what kind of education we have or what kind of scientific dissertation we are writing.

Why study? If you ask yourself this question, then apparently you are still in school, and you are tormented by some internal contradictions. Thinking about this, you sometimes become in some kind of opposition due to the fact that you simply do not want to study, or you are simply tired. Let's figure out why you need to learn, and why knowledge is so important in our life.

Why do people learn, and why do they need it?

Many children often hear from their parents that it is imperative to learn, that without knowledge in life it is impossible to achieve anything. Sometimes you do not understand why they insist on this so much, and what they care about it at all. First of all, I would like to note that educated people feel more comfortable in society than ignoramuses. What explains this trend?

Try to answer yourself the question, is it possible to entrust a serious task to an uneducated person? Can you rely on him if we are talking about a narrowly focused case in which the hands of a specialist are needed and nothing more? The obvious answer is no. After all, great things are decided by smart people who, during their life, "gnawed the granite of science" for the sake of their future and not only. Based on this, we can make a simple conclusion that you need to learn in order to be able to do something and have an idea of ​​what others are doing.

We learn in order to ...

Not to mention the fact that you need to study for the sake of banal reading skills, spelling a beautiful speech, you also need to study for a specific goal that you pursue in your life. A person who dreams of becoming a doctor works daily and replenishes his knowledge in the field of medicine. He knows perfectly well, so he zealously pursues this goal, not asking himself from the series “why do you need to learn?”. In parallel with him, other people who want to become lawyers, educators or programmers act in exactly the same way. That is, they know what they want and, accordingly, study: one is jurisprudence, the other is educational sciences, and the third is all the nuances of coding. So is it necessary to learn or not? Answer ...

If you have a dream or goal that is related to your profession, then you know perfectly well what you need to do for this - to teach the branch of science with which your activity will be associated, arithmetic is simple. However, if you do not know who you want to become, then it is likely that your mental anguish will lead to the eternal question for you "why do you need to learn?"

I don't know what I want to become, what should I do?

Many teenagers who are about to graduate from general education do not know who they want to become in life. Nowadays, this is a fairly common trend, which is explained by several factors. First of all, it's laziness! A person who prefers to spend time lying on the couch and watching TV (and now it is more often at the computer) often does not know what profession he would like to master.

And the fact is that in most cases he has nothing to choose from. He is used to idleness and does not think about serious issues. His interests are directed only to rest and entertainment, he is fixated on those things that contradict willpower, aspiration. Therefore, you need to find an occupation that is profitable for yourself, and if it is not to your liking, then do not stop and look for the next one. Having tried many areas and industries of a particular area, you will understand that it is closer to you and will already determine your own further actions, which will be related to study.

Otherwise, it may be that a person diligently studied at school (or at the institute), learned many sciences and is interested in learning. But he also does not know who he wants to be in life. A lot of thoughts are intertwined in his head, giving rise to multi-story contradictions about the future. Often, such people are simply too ambitious, they are afraid to step on the wrong path, thereby digging themselves deeper and deeper into a pit of uncertainty. In this case, knowledge tests can help!

There are many tests and questionnaires on the Internet that, based on your knowledge and interests, can give a decent answer to who you could work. The result, generated from your responses, will show you a priority ladder of multiple areas in percentage terms, from highest to lowest. Further, you yourself are considering a particular field of activity in which you are looking for a vacant profession. Of course, no one can give you a 100% answer, because it is impossible to get into your head. You yourself are the smith of your own happiness, so listen to your heart and make the right choice for your future.

Knowledge is the path to the world of discovery

How much do you need to study? You can answer this question with the proverb “live and learn”. Naturally, it is simply impossible to know everything in the world, because there is no limit to perfection. Knowledge opens the eyes to many things that happen in the world. But what can I say, the whole world is sheer knowledge!

You just need to have a desire, and as soon as you start conquering your own fears, there will be no limit to your enjoyment. The first positive result achieved by hard work is the strongest motivation and craving for new discoveries! To live while learning means to live for your pleasure, that is, a happy life. "Learning is light, and ignorance is darkness," so let us not sit in the darkness of heresy and ignorance, but let us bask in the rays of light and happiness.

Photo: Syda Productions / Rusmediabank.ru

Why do we want to be important to other people? We want to please others, expect them to approve and praise our words and actions. This applies to family members, colleagues, and just strangers. Why is this so important to us?

The famous psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud argued that a person has two main needs (besides hunger, thirst and a sense of self-preservation) - this is the desire to be significant, important to other people.

For many, the assessment that others give them is extremely important. Therefore, they, as they say, go out of their way to please others, to attract their attention, to cause admiration. To do this, they do plastic surgery, defend dissertations, buy prestigious cars, build careers, etc.

Such a pursuit of other people's assessments gives rise to complexes. If something does not work out for you, it becomes the subject of experiences, suffering, dissatisfaction with life.

Yes, each of us likes it. We want to receive positive feedback from others. This is expressed in all areas of life. For example, one woman bred purebred cats that received prizes at exhibitions. The woman was very proud of these prizes. She framed them and hung them on the walls so that everyone who comes to her can see them. Cats are indifferent to these prizes, but the woman is happy, her vanity is satisfied, her self-esteem is growing.

Most of the great creators also had a heightened need for significance. For this they created their works. And the largest businessmen, for the sake of a sense of importance in society, earned their fortunes, which are so great that they cannot be spent.

By the way, the desire to be significant leads young guys from disadvantaged families to criminal gangs. At home, they do not have recognition, approval, praise, so they come to gangs where they are respected. When they are arrested, they enjoy seeing stories about themselves on television. They even flaunt it. This is the so-called "negative significance".

Sometimes the desire to attract attention to oneself leads to paradoxical situations when a person can even "get sick", if only they run around him, fuss, feel sorry for him, in short, show him tireless attention. There was a case when a lonely woman, still quite young and quite capable, suddenly fell ill and fell ill. Probably due to her loneliness, she lacked a sense of significance. So, her elderly mother selflessly looked after her for many years. Finally, the mother could not withstand the load and left for another world. And what? The daughter, after lying in bed for some time, got up and began to take care of herself. The disease disappeared somewhere, she just began to live.

And there are enough such cases.

People living in families often experience. Although, it would seem, is it closer and more important? But according to statistics, divorces often happen due to lack of attention and respect. Wives do not notice and do not respect their husbands, husbands treat their wives in the same way. Spouses do not know how to tell their soul mates that in their hearts they love and appreciate them very much. As a result, they part.

They are very important to all of us. We need them as much as we need food. We want to receive approval, recognition from others - relatives, friends, colleagues, superiors.

Of course, most people don't need primitive flattery. The fake is immediately felt, it has an unnatural taste. In addition, an on-duty compliment can easily be distinguished from a sincere praise. So avoid flattery. For example, even if a woman does not shine with special beauty, you can always find something in her appearance that deserves praise: hands, a bust, a beautiful dress, tastefully selected jewelry, etc. This can be sincerely praised and not flattering will need.

But criticism is often unnecessary. Nobody loves her (except for very strong people, and even then they do not love her, but only know how not to take it to heart). After all, every person needs recognition, everyone wants to be significant. So why not give him that feeling?

Be generous with your approval. Find in each person something for which he can be thanked and praised. Tell your loved ones and loved ones how you love and appreciate them (do not wait until they are not to understand this). It is so important for them to be meaningful to you!

How do you become a good person? Let's first figure out who a good person is. This concept is quite subjective. The one who is good for Ivan may not be good for Peter and vice versa. So, to begin with, let's take this conditional definition: a good person is someone who we like and with whom we feel good. "Good" in this case means: easy, pleasant, fun, reliable ... then continue to your liking. Before making a significant effort to transform yourself into a good person, you need to make sure that you are not. Otherwise, maybe you don't need to do anything, maybe you are already quite a good person. Another question is that there is no limit to perfection and additional practice for the development of "goodness" will never hurt.

So, let's look at the basic qualities of a good person.
The first thing that comes to mind is kindness... This is a rare and valuable gift that is given by nature to a few and arouses the constant admiration of others. Man, like any animal, is by nature selfish and concerned about his own well-being. And the welfare of their offspring and their loved ones. His concerns usually do not extend further. But there are exceptions. Sometimes someone else's pain and someone else's misfortune is perceived as his own, and then a person leaves the boundaries of animal existence and rises to the heights of spirituality. The ability to selflessly help loved ones is one of those abilities that make a person a person.

Honesty. It is natural for a person to care about his own benefit and his well-being, as already mentioned above. Sometimes the obstacles that arise along the way are bypassed by silence or distortion of the truth. It can be difficult to tell the truth even in cases where it is known that it will lead to unpleasant consequences. Why tell the truth at all? First, it's natural. At the moment when a person is lying, his blood pressure rises, his heart rate increases, and other processes that wear out the body take place. That is, lying is simply unhealthy. Second, lying is bad for a relationship. Loss of trust destroys normal interactions between people. What to do? Do not create situations in which you have to lie. In addition to honest speech, there is also honest behavior. This is what you need to adhere to in order to be a good person.

Politeness. Boars and rude people are usually not considered good people, even if they have an honest and loving heart hidden deep inside them. A person is judged first by his appearance, then by his impression. Politeness is pleasant to everyone and always creates a favorable opinion of others. Say hello, say simple magic words such as "thank you" and "please", skip ahead and hold out your hand if you are a man, smile and sincerely thank if you are a woman. Use "you" to address strangers, even if they are younger than you in age or social status. In many cases, you need to speak to "you" even with unfamiliar children. You will see how pleasant it will be for them.

Good mood. Life is a series of problems and troubles if you focus on them. Life consists of great and small joys, of the gentle sun and pleasant rain, of tasks, the solution of which gives pleasure and difficulties, having dealt with which, you feel like a winner. It all depends on the point of view. Looking at life through rose-colored glasses is more fun and more pleasant than through dark ones, when everything appears in a gloomy and disgusting light. Okay, let the glasses not be completely pink, because we do not want to ignore the problems, we are going to solve them. Let the glasses be colorful, like life itself.

Sense of humor. Always appreciated by others and brings a lot of joy to the owner. A smile is the best adornment for a person of any gender and any age. The ability to joke easily, create a joyful atmosphere around you and cheer up those who are nearby are wonderful and rare qualities. Everyone loves such people and everyone strives to communicate with them. But there is a sense of humor and another aspect, internal. A person who possesses it will never plunge into the abyss of despair and will be able to cope with any depression, because he sees in any troubles not only a dark, but also a funny side. Irony and self-irony are powerful weapons, the one who is armed with them is able to defeat almost everything.

Ease of communication. Some people, meeting a friend, immediately bring down a heap of all their problems on him, tell in detail all the incidents, sort out all the minor and major troubles that have occurred over the past five days or five minutes. In common parlance, this is called "loading". It becomes difficult for the one who is "loaded". And not interesting. Be lighter! Do you really think that it is vitally important for those around you to know what area of ​​your back you got after you moved the closet or what exactly your boss said about you on the phone to his colleague? Of course, there are those around them who are interested, but their number is very small. This could be your mom, your husband (wife), and your closest friend (girlfriend). The rest do not want to know anything about the vicissitudes of your personal and work life. And they want easy and pleasant communication.

Following your nature. What we have listed above is categorized as a good person for others. Now let's look at another aspect: how to be good for yourself? The most important thing is to understand yourself and follow your nature. To be what you want, to reveal all your hidden talents and abilities, to realize the existing opportunities, create new ones and realize them too. A successful person cannot be bad. And we are now talking about success not in the sense of career growth and making money (although this is also self-realization). We are talking about success in the sense of realizing our mission. When a person realizes that he is in his place, lives following his inner moral laws, exists in harmony with himself and carries this harmony outside, he is happy. A happy person is practically the same as a good person. Therefore, the answer to the question: how to become a good person? is obvious: you need to be happy.

Having considered all the facets of a good person, we were convinced that for all its subjectivity, "goodness" is a completely understandable and close state for most people. It is easy and pleasant to be a good person. If a person is good, then this is understood and recognized by the majority of those around him. A good person does better than everyone who communicates with him, they, becoming good, do better than him. It's a good chain reaction.