Psychologist's advice on how to be optimistic. - What is the real source of optimism? Being an optimist is good, but a pessimist is bad

Hello dear readers! Let's talk about how to become an optimist in life? And why should they become? Yes, simply because an optimist is always on a positive wave!

After all, who is an optimist? This is the one who believes that everything will be fine, no matter how it develops. And he does the right thing, by the way. After all, with one of his moods, he already attracts all the best in his life. Therefore, it would be very nice to be an optimist and maintain a positive attitude always and in any situation, you must agree.

How to become an optimist in life? And for this you need to intend to become one. As they say - if you want to be happy - be happy. Just make a decision that from this very moment, no matter what happens to you, you will turn any event in your direction. Decide that what is happening is for your own good and it will be so.

Is the weather bad, is it raining? Well, okay, you still have to spend all day in the office at work. Couldn't buy the item you wanted? And for the best, it means you will find something that exceeds your expectations. Did not catch the bus - who knows what difficulties the Higher Forces have saved you from.

White and black, Day and night. Good and evil. Every medal always has two sides. As with every event in life. It is enough to shift the focus to the positive, and whatever happens, it begins to take on a positive coloring for you.

Take the reins of your life into your own hands. Now everything depends on you, how you decide - so it will be. Become the Maker of your reality, and not just a weak-willed observer, as Vadim Zeland says. I hope you have already read and are using his Reality Transurfing. If still not, it needs to be fixed urgently, urgently! You can download books at the link:

Always remember that you are standing in front of a mirror, because the world is a dual mirror. And with what face you will stand in front of him - such a reflection will be formed in him. You will frown, expressing dissatisfaction with what is happening, and complain about life - the world will provide you with a huge number of reasons to remain with a gloomy face. In abundance, you will receive new problems and troubles - the world seems to be telling you: frown, frown, good health, since such is your will, be it your way!

And if you decide to become an optimist in life and start smiling not only at happy events, but also at troubles in your face - a mirror, that is, your layer of reality, will reflect this kind positive energy and return it to you multiplied in the form of pleasant coincidences and joyful events in life.

You see how profitable it is to become an optimist in life. And it’s not so impossible. The main thing is to make a firm decision to become one, and relentlessly follow it, follow it with enviable stubbornness!

Hello, Pavel Yamb is in touch!

Tell me do you want to fail? Or do you dream of breaking your leg? No, I'm not crazy. But when you listen to pessimists, you get the impression that these people are just hungry for trouble for themselves and others. It gets boring sometimes, you know. Because pessimism deprives of joy, confidence, hope, and in fact vitality, not only of the wearer himself, but also of those around him. Therefore, I want to devote time today to discussing how to become an optimist.

Positive attitude

What is meant by optimism? Positive attitude towards life.

Optimist:

believes that the future is better than the past and the present;
I am sure that in any situation there is a way out and meaning;
does not consider difficulties a problem, seeing them as a test;
people are initially good, with a few exceptions;
confident in yourself and your strengths;
in case of failure, does not take it personally.

I'm an optimist. In the process of writing this article, I listened to music on an inconvenient resource, which all the time strives to transfer to the left page. It seems to be a trifle, but annoying. However, the next transfer included one wonderful, animated clip for me, which always lifts my spirits. So I will share it with you.

Such a minor inconvenience brought a little more pleasant at this moment, and at the same time an illustration that occurred in real time.

Cheerfulness is good for ...

Waking up happy is a great achievement in life.
English poet and novelist Richard Aldington

Why do you need to cultivate optimism? Well, let's take a closer look at what advantages people with a positive attitude have.

Life is more pleasant for optimists - they see their glass as half full.
In achieving the goal, optimists are more persistent than pessimists, since they believe in success.
Positive-minded people are more likely to achieve success and the assigned tasks.
Optimists are less stressed and more emotionally stable.

And the myth debunked is a small fly in the ointment in a barrel of honey.

It is believed that those with a positive mindset live longer. Although the largest study of the University of California at Riverside, conducted from 1921 to 1991, did not confirm this. Scientists, who summed up the results of many years of observation of more than 1,500 people from birth to old age, found that healthy realism and zest for life are considered more constructive and beneficial for longevity. However, when viewed from a deeply pessimistic position, this attitude will seem very positive.

Objectivity vs illusion

Do not think that I urge everyone to wear rose-colored glasses, since idealism is also not the best attitude towards life. Illusions are groundless, they often break on reality. However, pessimism is not realism, but an attempt to defend against reality, anticipating or suspecting the worst in advance. So, we can describe the state of affairs as follows:

Why, then, the great actress Faina Ranevskaya, who had a very critical glance on life, characterized optimism as a lack of information? Because a positive outlook on the world, limited by a narrow comfort zone, can be destroyed in no time. It is easy to enjoy the peacefully splashing sea while walking along the shore. It's much harder to do it in the midst of the raging waves on a tiny raft, isn't it?

However, this is also possible. People who do not betray their optimism, but change the world for the better, are a worthy example of such optimism: an unshakable faith in the best, which is so strong that even the world obeys it.

Does this make sense? Undoubtedly, since failure comes only when all attempts end.

It should not be forgotten only that persistent attempts of the fly to break through the glass with its head do not indicate its optimism. So far, I have not met a single fly that succeeded.

Doing the same thing and expecting a different result every time is crazy.
Albert Einstein

Let's listen to the genius. Attempts and efforts should be adjusted and based on possible and at least approximately realistic solutions. It's one thing to stupidly storm something that is hundreds of times greater than the capabilities, quite another - to hone your skills over and over again.

Psychologists come to the rescue

Now that we have identified what healthy optimism is, let's talk about how to bring more positive into your life.

Psychologists, these healers of human souls, have long worked out different ways to achieve inner harmony. Therefore, it is not surprising that they have advice for all occasions, sometimes quite effective. For example, Martin Seligman in his book “ How to Learn Optimism: Change the World and Your Life»Describes the result of cognitive therapy applied for 12 weeks, which proved to be more effective and long-lasting than drug treatment for depression.

Of course, in this case we are talking about a serious disorder. However, pessimism that interferes with normal life, destroys careers and relationships, is not far from it. Therefore, we take the advice of a psychologist into service.

Who are you?

While it is believed that most people have a pessimistic view of the world, this is not always the case. As a rule, in a person, both are mixed, depending on his ideas and, what can we hide here - convenience.

For example, a smoker who is confident that he will be able to avoid the consequences of this dangerous habit is a very great optimist. He can be compared to someone who runs on a highway and believes that the car will not hit you. Unlike a realistic-minded performer of dangerous stunts, who carefully prepares for them, developing a strategy for execution to the smallest detail. He has no illusions about the level of his safety, which helps him to keep his life and health.

The other extreme is that if you are a pessimist, then you just do not see the prospects and possible changes in the state of affairs. Very often, a person who has fallen into a losing streak looks at the world from this state, and everything seems hopeless to him. Such a state is dangerous - it is in it that suicides are committed.

What to do with yourself?

Psychologists say: while a person is alive, everything can change. Therefore, suicide is the most unfortunate solution to the problem.

For example, losing a well-paying job can seem like a major setback. It is clear that this event brings with it a number of other changes in life, far from the most pleasant ones, like the inability to pay off a loan, pay for housing, and support a family. However, is this as critical as it seems in the midst of worrying about the loss?

To expand this sharply narrowed perception of life, you need to ask yourself the following questions and answer them honestly, pushing aside emotions:

Is the current situation so fatal for my future, as it seems to me now?
How important will it be to me in a month, a year, ten years?
What opportunities can be learned from this situation?
Maybe this is a good opportunity to change something in your life?
What experience and conclusion can be drawn from what happened?

If you tune in correctly and put in some effort, then this seemingly serious failure may well lead to results that you could not even dream of in your previous job. However, this is provided, if you do not fold the legs, but continue to search and move in the desired direction. And there are enough real examples.

One footballer of the Real Madrid club somehow got into a car accident, after which he spent a year in a wheelchair. A fat cross was put on the athlete's career. The former footballer was worried that he could do nothing but play. However, he listened to friends, who advised him to take up singing. You've probably heard of him. His name is Julio Iglesias.

If you are still wondering if you can become an optimist not by nature, but by your own will - yes, it is quite possible. The secret is to let go of the habitual way of thinking. So, we remove the following phrases from our vocabulary:

I won't be able to
I cant
I will never do this
I am not worthy of this
I can't do it
It's too hard
Things are getting worse and worse
Life is in full swing. Gadget and all over the head
It's never all right
Be afraid of your desires

Well, you understand: you need to catch and remove from consciousness all those thoughts that make you weak and helpless. Because pessimism is helplessness in the face of circumstances.

If you want something, take a time, sit down and write down how you can achieve it. What needs to be done to achieve. What are you missing for success?

After that, you will practically ready plan action. Of course, this still needs to be done, but who said that after that it will be easy?

Most importantly, your train, heavily laden with uncertainty, will finally budge. And the first jerk is almost the hardest. Of course, there are hillocks, mounds and mountains ahead of you, which you will have to climb and overcome. However, if your desire is strong enough, then there will always be someone or something who will help with unexpected advice, suggestion, solution. And then, looking back at the path traveled, you will suddenly be surprised at how much has been overcome and left behind. Remember this, when you go forward, your legs will begin to buckle from fatigue, and an icy wind will whip in your face. This is optimism.

And here is a charge of optimism from the cheerful milkman. Until next time!

“You scratched your side, your car hit the joint,” the car wash manager screamed. I answered him calmly: "Well, if you hit it, it means hit it, where should you turn the steering wheel?" I must admit that my reaction to this event was very optimistic, because the grinding sound was just awful, as if I had ripped the entire side of the car.

In fact, if you want to become a successful person, you need to try to be in optimistic mood since problems in any case will occur, and optimism will help not to lose heart in difficult times. When I scratched the car, I perfectly understood that I had already screwed up and there was no point in shedding tears over this - it is much more productive to ask for help so that they could help me out of a difficult situation without further damage. Well-known entrepreneurs say that they try not to think about bad things, including past mistakes. In particular, they talked about this and. Optimism is one of the.

Considering that pessimism is not a very constructive thing, then it is worth considering how to become an optimist. Psychologists even note that those people who constantly think about the bad seem to attract troubles into their lives or simply fixate on them. More optimistic people prefer to move on and generally try not to think about bad things.

Besides, we shouldn't forget about psychosomatics. When a person is constantly in a tense state, he begins to suffer from both neurological disorders and problems such as high blood pressure.

How to become an optimist

First of all, it is worth stopping and looking around. What do you say to others and what do you think about? If you are complaining a lot not on the point, or if there are a lot of people with negative thoughts and words, then this is the first signal. what you need to think about. For starters, just stop whining and complaining. Otherwise, the effect “ self-fulfilling prophecy". This is when negative thoughts eventually materialize. often underestimated. Moreover, you must control not only your words, but also try to follow your own thoughts.

Plus, if you're constantly whining, those around you are unlikely to enjoy it either. It is much better to be proactive. Not enough money for something? Do something to make your salary go up. Did not work out? Do something else. For example, ask for a raise. If it doesn't help, change your place of work to a higher-paid one. Active actions are much more valuable.

Think and act with optimism in the eyes

American psychologists in the person of Martin Seligman, even the hardest pessimist can be taught to be optimistic. It is not so difficult. You just need to consciously adjust your thoughts just like people who are inclined to be overweight consciously adjust their diet. It can be difficult to do this, but as soon as thinking positively (or following your diet) becomes a habit, you will no longer be the pessimist that we once meant.

The main thing is the psychological attitude. You need to believe in yourself and at the same time not look back into the past. Digging into past failures is a bad idea - says famous Russian businessman Oleg Tinkov. Try to act as if you are absolutely sure of the success of your actions (even if you are not). By changing your actions and thoughts, you become a different person, and yours will gradually gain strength.

How self-programming works

We have already written about such techniques as and. I still don't really believe in these two methods. And despite this, I was personally convinced that these methods really work in practice. I am not inclined to give the same visualization any magical properties of the power of the universe, as it is described in the movie "The Secret". I think that a person achieves the set goals thanks to the power of the subconscious. You set a clear goal, visualize it, and the brain from time to time finds a solution to the task.

How to relate to your achievements and fakups?

In case of failure, you should not constantly engage in self-flagellation. should be philosophical: admit a mistake, learn a lesson for yourself and move on. At the same time, you should not shift the blame for your failures to other people. Even if this is objectively the case, it is much more useful to honestly admit that somewhere you really made a mistake and allowed it to happen. And it is better not to exaggerate the problems, but to take concrete steps to solve them. So it will be psychologically easier to take a hit and the result will be better.

Set yourself specific goals and plan to achieve them

When you do not have specific goals and objectives, or they are too vague, then you are unlikely to come close to achieving them (although this also happens!). They say that work is the best medicine for many ailments. A busy person simply does not have enough time to go into negative thoughts. He, and then makes specific actions. He inevitably mows while working. But he is positive and he learns from his mistakes.

If the work does not bring the proper pleasure, then perhaps you are doing an unloved business and it is time for you to change the field of activity or at least devote more time to your favorite hobby. I never understood people who hate their job. So it will not take long to work out before a heart attack. Live for your pleasure.

Live life to the fullest

To be honest, my business in business is going much worse now than a year ago. But I don't make a tragedy out of this. The business is still profitable, because I cut the costs to almost zero (there will soon be nothing to cut). This is a big plus that will help you get more profit in the future when things are stable. In addition, I took advantage of the decrease in income and took a radical step - began to diet. This is how I put my body in order. And I plan to have a great cycling season next summer. I have already saved up enough money so that I could not work all summer, bought flashlights for my bike. In short, I enjoy life in spite of some temporary difficulties. Which I advise all readers to do.

Do some sports

Sport really helps fight stress and makes you more optimistic than you really are. Changes occur at the hormonal level. Plus you start looking better and younger than usual.

By the way, you should also tidy up your diet. In their book Sugar Free, the authors write that overuse of sugar can lead to depression and a number of other health problems. There will be no time for optimism.

Choose your social circle thoughtfully

We have already written above about being on him. If in your environment there are depressed personalities and whiners, then you yourself risk becoming such. Try to communicate with optimists. And if it is impossible to protect yourself from these people, then you need to make efforts so that their negativity does not affect you in any way.

Pessimism is also needed

However, you shouldn't wear rose-colored glasses and look at life. through the eyes of a joyful idiot... Sometimes the qualities of a pessimist are also needed. When starting any project, you need to understand that it may not work out or something may go wrong. In this case, you can insure yourself. For example, when going to a performance, you need to have several copies of the presentation, including on a USB flash drive, CD and on the Internet, so that if something goes wrong, the performance will still succeed. Also, the speech must be prepared and memorized, but just in case, also take a piece of paper with you if you are completely at a loss. Do you understand the train of thought? Try to be optimistic, but at the same time soberly assess the overall situation in order to make meaningful decisions.

Find something that can turn you on in a positive way. It can be good music in the player, meditation, helping other people. Smile more. Good mood can be contagious. Having sex with your loved one will have a very good effect on your overall mood. And don't think bad at night. Pamper yourself and try to do what really pleases you.

Do you want to know the answer to the question of how to become an optimist? To do this, you need to figure out what is hidden under this concept. There are many ways that you can not only answer the question of how to learn to be an optimist, but also make a person with positive thinking out of a pessimist.

But before proceeding with the transformation of our own consciousness, let's figure out whether it needs to be done.

Who can be considered an optimist? There are many opinions on this, but they all boil down to the essence of an ancient oriental parable, which answers the question of what state the glass is in. Is it half empty or half full? It is in the answer to it that a person's attitude is reflected, his attitude towards himself, whether he is an optimist or a pessimist.

Any situation can be projected to this question:

The task is not finished yet or its execution is coming to an end.
The building is one third unfinished or its construction has already been completed by two thirds.
The beloved is late for a date or she is in a hurry to meet with you, despite the large number of difficulties that have arisen.

Any situation has two sides. It can be viewed from both a bad point of view and a good one. Has your company brought in only a few hundred thousand profit per month, instead of the expected million? Think how many hundreds of millions of people during this time have earned only a few tens of thousands of rubles, or even less. Unhappy with this income? This means that the development of new projects and solutions that will increase income tenfold lies ahead.

In life, one cannot do without ups and downs, but it is the optimist's view of emerging problems that positively affects it, allows you to maintain excellent health, remain in good mental and physical condition. This approach is a key component in dealing with stress and depression.

Staying optimistic does not mean ignoring difficult life situations... This is not so - only the attitude towards them changes. The vision of the world in pessimistic colors changes to a positive perception. To any difficulty, when everything is bad, such people answer that a person is a child of obstacles and overcoming them only brings joy, makes him stronger and more successful.

Realist or pessimist

There are those who do not consider themselves either pessimists or optimists. There are many such people, but it is psychologists who believe that they need to become optimists.

Is it really bad to be a realist and you definitely need to think about how to become an optimist? Considering oneself as a realist means that a person understands that he is not an optimist. But he does not want to consider himself a pessimist either.
Psychologists are convinced that there is no middle ground between an optimist and a pessimist.

For the psychologist, it is clear that all those who consider themselves to be in this category, in fact, hide their pessimistic attitude towards the events taking place. This is a latent form of pessimism, but so much the worse for the person himself, since he does not recognize the problem and does not consider it necessary to look at the world differently. This is bad. For those who are used to looking at events from a pessimistic point of view, it will not be easy to change it.

Points of view of different types of characters

But if you apply a little patience, focus on the ongoing processes, paying attention to their positive aspects, then it is quite possible to join the ranks of optimists.

Psychological techniques

How to stop being a pessimist and improve your mood in order to become an optimist in life? First of all, you need to recognize that life consists not only of good events, but also their bad ones. Therefore, staying happy all the time, even in difficult situations, will not work. Moreover, you cannot do that.

If the event is truly traumatic in nature, then an attempt to treat them positively can turn into negative, causing great harm to mental health.

You need to tune in to the fact that there is a full range of emotions in the displayed emotions - both positive and negative experiences. Attempts to suppress any of them lead to emotional distress.

But there is no need to focus on any one kind of feeling. Maintain a balance, and this will help you quickly adapt to situations, stay active in any unexpected events. This state allows you to maintain an optimistic and cheerful attitude towards life and events.

How do you learn to be optimistic? If you have bad thoughts, consider these tips:

don't blame yourself for negative emotions;
try to focus on being aware of what is happening;
look at it from the outside;
reflect on the lesson the situation has taught;
think about the future in a positive light.

Instilling trust and love

Optimism is not a character trait, it is not inherited, but, as a rule, it is laid in the family. The child enters life with the worldview of the parents. If from childhood he sees that the closest people mistrust the world and others, perceiving them as a potential threat, often feel dissatisfaction, wind themselves up, then he himself will subsequently live according to this scenario. And, on the contrary, when parents are happy to communicate with the world and other people and fill the child with love, warmth and trust, then he, too, is likely to inherit this attitude.

It is also important how parents react to the child's actions: they perceive his mistakes and failures as a catastrophe or treat them calmly, as inevitable, but correctable situations on the way of growing up. Depending on this, the child will evaluate everything that happens to him in the future.

It also happens that optimism is formed as if in spite of: the parents are gloomy and aggressive, and the child is smiling, open, trusting, - says Alexander Mutovkin. - In this case, he seems to blindly grope for a space where he is warmer - with teachers at school, in the company of peers or in the family of a close friend. And unconsciously includes mechanisms that help him protect himself. But all the same, those to whom the inoculation of love for themselves and the world around them was made in the family, the immunity will be stronger and stronger.

The power of thought

They say that thoughts are material. What scenario for the development of this or that event you imagine, this will most likely develop. If you are afraid of the upcoming interview, you will see in your mind that it will not go well - most likely it will happen. And if you try to calm down and relax as much as possible, imagine that the meeting will end successfully and the employer will like you, there is a great chance that you will get the coveted place. And the point here is not that it is enough to attract luck with the power of imagination. Thought is capable of awakening in a person a great inner work and concentrate efforts on the set goal.

This is how a positive thought works: first we think, then we imagine a picture - a certain image of our desire and in the end we show activity - we begin to act, - says Alexander Mutovkin. “When we take responsibility for our thought, our dream becomes a reality. For a person who has embarked on the path of optimism, it is very important to learn to think positively. And it is also necessary to radically change the attitude towards oneself - to accept oneself unconditionally, with all the shortcomings and flaws, to love one's imperfections, this is where optimism begins. And then it will become possible to listen to yourself, to understand what I really want, and to follow my desires exactly, without turning or stepping back, regardless of stereotypes, doubts of friends, and discontent of parents. You will certainly be rewarded - optimism will give a different quality to your life, help you get away from dissatisfaction, envy, comparison, hatred and come to love, gratitude, joy.

Change your life!

But it’s easy to say, and not easy at all. Where to start and how to progress along this path? Here are some tips to help you look differently at your life and believe that it can really change for the better.

● Take a piece of paper and write your negative attitudes on the left side of it. And on the right, paraphrase them as positive. For example, on the left: every spring and autumn I will be sick because I have health problems. Right: every spring and fall, I feel full of strength and health.

● Try to surround yourself with people who think and think positively, strive for those from whom you are charged with positive energy, invite them into your environment, communicate with them, learn from them.

● Try to see situations that cause negative reactions in you in a positive light. Having trouble getting on board for fear of an accident? Imagine being greeted by your loved one when you get home, and interesting people are waiting for you when you go to the office or to a business meeting. And then you will already think about how you arrive, and not about how scary it is to go and get into an accident.

● Try to see the best qualities in people. The world is dual: it contains good and evil, plus and minus, day and night. So in every person there is both good and bad. Focus on its merits.

● Imagine your life as you want it to be. Make a collage by cutting out the pictures you like from magazines and sticking them on a large sheet of paper the way you want. Perhaps this way you can better understand your desires and create your own program that will inspire you.

● Create a piggy bank of positive emotions that you have experienced and that have brought you happy moments in life. Come back to them in your mind more often and share them with others.

● Learn to keep track of your negative thoughts and emotions, catch yourself on them and switch to positive "here and now", without delaying thinking for the evening or morning. Is this cafe sluggish waiters and not very cozy? But here tasty food and good music. This internal dialogue will help you focus on good things and cheer you up.

● If you feel that you find it difficult to cope with the problem on your own and all your efforts do not bring satisfaction and do not lead to the expected changes, it is better to seek help from a specialist.

Help the children!

An equally difficult task is to raise your children to be optimists. Obviously, it will be easier if the parents have already become infected with this condition. What to do?

● First of all, to love and accept the child unconditionally, whatever he may be. Do not focus on his flaws, show him his best qualities and develop them.

● More often direct the child's attention to joyful moments... Remember with him how last year we went to the sea, to the village, went to the forest, park, met with interesting people... Look at the photos again, where these pleasant moments are captured.

● Encourage him to do good deeds. Explain that you can always find a way out of unpleasant situations and correct mistakes. Show how important attention and care are to people. And as an example, prepare gifts with him for all the children who come to him on his birthday. You will see, this day will bring him many discoveries.

Personal opinion

Zinaida Kirienko:

I’m probably more of an optimist. Of course, sometimes there are difficult moments, sad thoughts (especially now, after the death of my husband), but I try not to succumb to these sad thoughts, to occupy myself with different things.