How to get a person out of a closed position. "Closed Poses". The body is in communication. What do the arms, pressed to the chest, mean?

Hello dear readers! Today I want to start a conversation with you about how the body participates in interpersonal communication... It's no secret that bodily postures, gestures, movements and even muscle tone play an important "signaling" role both for the person himself and for people in communication with him.

Over the past 10-15 years, a large amount of literature has been translated into Russian, containing interpretations of the elements of the body language. Some of them, in my opinion, seriously oversimplify the meaning of body signals.

Traditionally, it is customary to divide poses to "Open" and "Closed".

Today I want to talk about the so-called "Closed Poses". In the literature (Alan Pease et al.), These poses are deciphered as defensive reactions (unwillingness to communicate).

Here's what we find with Bornik "Psychological aspects of personnel selection and testing", compiled by N.А. Litvintseva:

• 
  The usual foot-to-foot pose. The right leg rests on the left. The man is nervous, withdrawn, trying to protect his vulnerability. Negatively tuned in to an ongoing event.
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  Fully closed pose: arms crossed over the chest and cross-legged. Refusal to continue the conversation, extremely negative ... attitude towards the interlocutor or the situation.
• 
  Uncertain position: "Cross-legged", hands in the lock support the knee. Tries to hide self-doubt.
• 
  Braided feet- enhanced defensive posture. Typical for modest and shy women.
• 
  Crossed ankles indicate a desire to hide fear, nervousness, negative emotions. When the person being interviewed crosses their ankles, they are mentally biting their lips. This is how they usually sit during interrogation, trying to control their words and emotions.

Let's look at what this direct interpretation of "closed poses" leads to. It seems to me that such categorical assessment can lead to erroneous conclusions, both for the person using these poses and for the person interpreting them.

For a person in a "closed" position:

In a stressful situation, any person relies on their own strategies of defensive behavior. And this is a normal, healthy and natural response. Suffering from cold, pain, weakness - a person will take appropriate postures, make the necessary movements in order to improve his health.

The situation of a new communication, an interview, an exam, negotiations, family or any other conflict - can also be stressful for a person, thereby including him automatic system bodily self-preservation.

The danger of a direct interpretation of "closed" poses, for a person, is that he can begin to consciously abandon his own wise strategies of bodily protection. A man or woman often wants to make a favorable impression in communication, accepting for this purpose the ideals of sociability that are alien to themselves.

Try observing your bodily postures in stressful situations and you will find at least one commonly used posture that is commonly referred to as “closed”. Don't try to give it up, but explore the support it gives you in a stressful situation. If you get the feeling that your pose is too visible to the interlocutor, try to come up with a more inconspicuous analogue.

But before you go after public opinion, about any of your poses, try to ask yourself: "What is more important to me in this case - to maintain my mental and physical comfort or to adapt to the interlocutor?"

On this topic, I can give my personal example:

Some years ago medical institution, where I worked, sent me for advanced training. The lecture was held in a cold room, the lecturer was very boring and often distracted from the essence of the matter by insignificant, and even, moreover, vulgar stories. I was unhappy - I was cold, uninteresting, and I also felt irritated that I had to listen to this kind of "revelation." I sat in a position with crossed arms in the solar plexus area. Quite unexpectedly, the lecturer turned to me with the following words: “You are sitting in a closed position! This is disrespect for me. Open your hands and listen to what I'm talking about! " I refused this offer. His demand seemed strange and outrageous to me. If he, as a lecturer, cannot interest me, then why on earth should I open up?

And at this point I turn to the second part of this article, addressed to those who interpret the "closed poses" of their interlocutors and listeners.

When evaluating a person's posture as “unwillingness to communicate,” ask yourself the following questions:

Do you think this person is in a stressful situation communicating with you? Does he / she have the right to calm himself down a bit by balancing his anxiety?

What have you done in this communication so that the person feels trust and safety?

How do you behave in stressful communication situations, how does your body react when you feel insecure, angry, or anxious?

Despite the fact that you can be a very pleasant conversationalist, caring and sympathetic person. The person with whom you communicate may have their own personal reasons and characteristics. nervous system, to protect yourself with the help of "closed" poses - this is the first thing. Secondly, there are a lot of bodily symptoms in which a person can cross his arms, legs, press his head into his shoulders, etc. Don't forget this!

(text for publication is taken from the Internet)

The words of a person, his promises, persuasions, this is one thing, but how he really is inclined to talk with you, your interlocutor, can only be said by his posture, gestures and facial expressions. This article will focus only on the posture of a person. It can be closed or open. A person who has taken a closed pose, at the subconscious level, seems to be trying to build a barrier between himself and his interlocutors.

For example, a person is sitting, while crossing his arms and legs. Those. the leg is thrown over the leg, and the arms are crossed over the chest. This may indicate that the person is anxious, not confident in himself. At the same time, a person at the subconscious level makes you understand that he is not very disposed to contact with you in this moment... Although in words, he can say the opposite, that he is interested. It may also indicate that the person does not completely agree with you. Those. you tell him something, you propose to him, and he, crossing his arms over his chest, seems to defend himself not only from you, but also from your words. Those. they say, "you tell, tell, but I think differently." Although at the same time a person may say that he completely agrees with your opinion, etc.

But not always a person tries to build a barrier with the help of his hands and feet. It can be anything, any thing: a bag, a folder, a briefcase. Let's say you invite your partner, colleague, or someone else to your office for a conversation. You are sitting at your desk, your guest comes in. You invite him to sit down. In this case, someone can do this: unbutton his jacket, leave the briefcase aside, sit in a chair. And someone will immediately sit in a chair, put a briefcase on their knees. Thus, erecting the very "barrier" between you. Obviously, in the first case, the person is ready for an open conversation to a greater extent than the person in the second case.

When the pose is closed, the body of a person's body is not always turned directly towards his interlocutor. The person may sit a little sideways to you. Also, the main desire of the subconscious of a person who is not quite disposed to talk with you is to hide his palms. Those. they are pressed to the body if the arms are crossed over the chest. Or simply the person clenched his fists.

When the pose is open, there is no desire to hide the palms. A person can gesture with their hands when talking, and the palms will not be hidden. Also, a person who is tuned in, and most importantly interested in a conversation, will always take a pose in which the body of the body will always be located directly to the interlocutor. There can be no question of any crossing of arms and legs. In general, with an open position, a person can constantly change the position of his hands. For example, change the right hand to the left when supporting, for example, on a table. Those. this indicates that the person is listening to you, and not just sat down in one position, "closed" and sits until the end of the conversation.

This knowledge, and the ability to use it, can help, if necessary, and influence your interlocutor, mislead him.

Why doesn't everyone manage to get an interview despite a flawless resume and a wealth of work experience? Because at an interview it is important not only what we say, but also how we say it and what hidden emotions we unconsciously give out with our poses and gestures.

So which gestures can set the recruiter AGAINST you? Let's take a look at forbidden gestures and postures for each of the most frequently asked interview questions.

Question 1. Tell us about yourself

Forbidden gestures

As a rule, recruiters ask quite standard and even banal questions at the beginning of the interview. Many job seekers probably have pre-prepared answers to them. For example, the question: "Tell us about yourself." If, answering this seemingly elementary question, you sit in a "closed position", that is, with your arms crossed over your chest, you will demonstrate a clearly negative reaction: either self-doubt or protection - as if you are protecting yourself from a potential employer.

It’s even worse if you also have your legs crossed. As a rule, this posture means that it is simply uncomfortable for you to sit, but in combination with crossed arms, it can be interpreted as a sign of a negative and even hostile attitude towards the interlocutor. It is quite natural that this will cause a similar reaction from the recruiter.

There are several variations of this pose. For example, if a person clenches his hands into a fist, this also expresses hostility.

If the applicant is not negatively disposed, but simply alert and defensive, he may demonstrate an “incomplete barrier” - when one hand lies along the body, slightly bent at the elbow, and the other just holds onto it in the elbow area.

Also, the "incomplete barrier" can be formed by a handbag on your knees, or a mobile phone - if you hold it not with one, but with both hands.

Recruiter's reaction

When a recruiter sees such hidden signals from a job seeker, he will naturally be dissatisfied and may show you his dissatisfaction with similar gestures or "closed poses."

Another option is also possible: at the end of the interview, he will simply become bored, and he will not hide it: he will lean on a chair and rest his chin on his palm, avert his eyes and even at the level of facial expressions will show that everything that you say is no longer at all important.

If you are completely “spreading your thoughts along the tree”, the recruiter can rub his ear - as a sign that he is tired of your story - or make a straight tin with his straight palm outstretched. It means "Stop, that's enough, you've talked enough today."

Question 2. What are your shortcomings

Forbidden gestures

The most big mistake the applicant is to think that such a question is initially stupid, because he - so wonderful - simply cannot have any shortcomings. Then, in addition to the "closed pose", he will also demonstrate self-confidence and superiority - crossing his arms over his chest, but at the same time leaving his thumbs up. It's like telling the recruiter directly, “What a stupid question? Isn't it obvious that I have no shortcomings? Such a question could only be asked by a complete layman. "

Gesture critical appraisal

Recruiter's reaction

In response, the recruiter will most likely show you a critical attitude towards your words: the palm is on the side of the face, the index finger is extended along the temple, the rest of the fingers are bent above or below the chin.

Question 3. Why did you leave your previous job?

Forbidden gestures

As a rule, in response to this question, candidates try to say that they did not have an opportunity for career or professional growth, but the real reason is often completely different. If the applicant tells the recruiter about career, but at the same time:

Covers his mouth with his hand;

Or touches the nose;

Or rubs his eyelid

The recruiter will easily understand that you are simply lying to him. That the reason for your departure was most likely a conflict with your superiors or the employer's dissatisfaction with the performance of your work. Oddly enough, it is these circumstances that job seekers prefer to hide most often.

Negative attitude to the interlocutor

Recruiter's reaction

Hands folded on the lap means disappointment and a negative attitude towards the interlocutor. If your arms are raised to chest level, you have practically no chance - this gesture expresses a complete and almost uncompromising negative; you are unlikely to be able to please this recruiter.

Question 4. What is the desired salary

Forbidden gestures

Even if the number promised to you by potential employers inspires genuine delight in you, you should not express it openly, let alone rub your hands (even barely noticeably), as this will give away your only real motive for passing this interview - greed. The recruiter will interpret this gesture so that you, they say, are only interested in money and nothing but money, you are absolutely not ready to work with devotion and enthusiasm for the good of the company and its clients, you are not worried about professional growth and the acquisition of new skills; accordingly, you do not want to learn something new, "be creative", develop new projects or revolutionary strategies, etc.

Recruiter's reaction

If the interlocutor does not like your attitude towards work (as a source of enrichment - and nothing more), this will be seen by his facial expressions: he can slightly shake his head from side to side and curl his lips, expressing dissatisfaction.

Sign of nervousness

Question 5. How long do you plan to work with us?

Forbidden gestures

This question often makes candidates nervous. They start:

Rubbing your wrists;

Or fiddle with the watch strap;

Either somehow roll up or, conversely, straighten the sleeves.

These are all hidden signs of nervousness that indicate that you are not yet sure if you want to stay on. this place work for a long time or just consider it as a "staging post".

Recruiter's reaction

If the interlocutor realizes that you are ready to take off as soon as you are offered a large salary, he may show impatience - they say, why are you wasting my time then? - and will show this by tapping fingers on the armrests or pulling your elbows closer to the back of the chair, while leaning back or, conversely, sharply straightening.

Question 6. Tell us about your achievements

Acceptable gestures

If the candidate is proud of his achievements and is telling the truth, he can use a gesture of superiority or its variations - for example, grab the lapel of a jacket (the edge of a jacket, sweater, etc.), setting aside thumb up.

Forbidden gestures

But if the candidate crosses his ankles, this will tell the recruiter that the person in front of him is not quite confident in his words: perhaps he is lying, and therefore worries, perhaps he is too shy and does not know how to properly “present” himself; and perhaps he, again, has a negative attitude towards the recruiter and does not consider himself obligated to report to him for his past merits.

Be that as it may, this gesture will cause distrust, and if the interviewer begins to distrust you, most likely you will fail the interview.

A gesture of distrust

Recruiter's reaction

In response, your interlocutor may rub his chin: this means that he is trying to assess how much truth is in what you are saying, and whether only excitement is the reason for your closed gestures and postures.

The male version of this gesture is stroking the chin along the length, thumb and forefinger. The female version is stroking up and down with the index finger.

Question 7. How do you feel about processing?

Forbidden gestures

Note that this question does not mean that your employer will force you to stay up late and work on weekends. Most likely, it is not profitable for him himself. However, he would be pleased to know that you will be loyal to the company and in which case you are ready to lend your shoulder (it is possible that for an additional reward.

However, applicants often take this issue with hostility and demonstrate open aggression and discontent, resting one hand on the side or simply placing it on the waist (female version).

Another careless gesture is a strong forward tilt of the head; he expresses clear dissatisfaction and disagreement. In such cases, they say that the person is "tired". Even more strongly, your emotions can be betrayed by pursed lips and a glance from under the brows.

Recruiter's reaction

Naturally, an employer who believes that the candidate could in certain cases give him more than the time allowed by the regulations can scratch his neck - thus showing disagreement with the position of the applicant.

If the interviewer starts picking up the fluff from his clothes (or looking at his nails, as women sometimes do), he kind of hints to his interlocutor that he should have given a different answer to this question.

Question 8. What do you know about our company?

Sharp controversy

Forbidden gestures

Any recruiter is pleased when a job seeker comes to the interview prepared and speaks well of the employer's company. But if at the same time the words "Oh, you have a great company!" accompanied by a pointing gesture back (the hand is bent at the elbow, the thumb is up, the applicant seems to point to himself behind his back), this indicates a dismissive attitude and even disrespect on the part of the candidate. The answer looks like a go-ahead: they say, yes, I'll tell you anything about your company, just give me a salary. In fact, he most likely does not know anything about the company and its activities at all.

Recruiter's reaction

If the recruiter deciphers this gesture, in response he can throw one leg over the other "American style", when one leg is on the other almost parallel to the floor. This pose shows intense contradiction and even outrage.

Question 9. Why do you want to work with us?

Forbidden gestures

Recruiters ask this question because it is important for them to know that the candidate is motivated to work in this particular company, and not just to earn money. But the candidate by this point may already be fed up with the protracted interview, and the interviewer himself. He begins to speak quietly, lower or avert his eyes, close his eyelids. That is, remove the annoying object from the field of view.

Recruiter's reaction

An experienced personnel officer will immediately read in this gesture: “How tired of you. Yes, I just want to work, I want to receive money, and I don't care where to earn it - in this office or in another ”.

Moment of truth

If the recruiter has made the final decision, he can fold his arms with a “spire”. Variations of the gesture - spire up (at chest level) or spire down (hands are on the knees).

Decision is made

Considering the combination of gestures described above, this decision will most likely not be in your favor.

Lesson for the future

To avoid disappointment in the interview. Train yourself to be more open and truthful, not to show gestures of lies, excitement, aggression or closeness. Take care of yourself in everyday life: perhaps you use them constantly, but do not attach any importance to it.

Arriving for the interview, sit in a chair comfortably and relaxed, take an "open position": your hands are free to rest on the armrests, your legs are straight, parallel to each other. This will show that you are completely open and ready for good. Constructive dialogue.

the site thanks the Rabota.ru portal for the help in preparing the material.

What is a pose. The value of postures in communication

A lot about a person can be said by the posture in which he is. Pose is the position of a person's body in space. A person can control postures with consciousness. By posture, you can recognize the state of a person - vitality or fatigue, confidence or uncertainty, etc. The pose, together with gestures and facial expressions, reveals the true emotions and intentions of a person.

For example, if a person stands calmly, his arms and legs are in a natural position, his chin is raised, then he creates an impression of confidence. This posture is indicative of self-respect.

If the seated person turned a little to you or tilted his head in your direction, then he wants to talk to you. If, in the course of a conversation, he crosses his arms over his chest or crosses his legs, it means that he does not agree with you in something, he is inclined to enter into an argument. If in the process of communication you manage to take an open position, that is, open your palms, then perhaps your conversation will flow more favorably.

What are the poses

All poses are divided into three groups.

✓ Joining or leaving a conversation. If a person is ready to communicate, then he smiles slightly, his face and body are turned towards the interlocutor, and his body is slightly tilted forward. When avoiding a conversation, disagreement, hands are often clasped in a lock, crossed on the chest, crossed legs in a sitting position. At the same time, they often deviate with their backs, i.e. in all acceptable ways "leave" the interlocutor.

✓ Power or subordination. Power in communication is manifested by appropriate behavior. Your social partner can hang over you, patting your shoulder or arm condescendingly. Submission is manifested in an uncertain posture - stoop, look timid and directed from bottom to top.

✓ Harmony or opposition. In harmony, the postures of communication partners are always similar. Both partners are free and open, periodically repeating each other's gestures. Confrontation is expressed in putting the leg forward, clenching the fists, pushing one shoulder forward, or putting the hands to the sides.

Poses are also divided into open and closed:

1) open posture. A person in an open position behaves at ease, it is easy to communicate with him. He is moderately relaxed and there is no excessive tension in him. An open posture can be recognized by the turn of the body and head towards the interlocutor, open palms, free position of the legs (not crossed, feet with full support), muscles are relaxed, the gaze is directed to the face of the interlocutor;

2) closed poses. They are formed as a defensive reaction, as unwillingness to continue communication, disagreement with the statement of the interlocutor. Closed poses can be different. For example, a person might cross their arms behind their head and thus express their superiority.

Crossing arms over the chest or legs (cross-legged, at the ankles) shows a defensive reaction, a desire to stop communicating.

Going to negotiations with a friend, for an exam, take a confident look. This will help you tune in and collect your thoughts. Openness and calmness will be perceived by the teacher better than tension and stiffness. If you still know a little about the subject, then with the right behavior you are more likely to get a good grade. And negotiations with a friend can go very well. There is no need for ostentatious self-confidence.

Remembering the closed poses, you can quickly finish unpleasant questions from your friends about something, find the strength to give a negative answer - to say "no". Although this is not always applicable in communication with adults, they are still older and may perceive crossing arms differently - as a challenge or an insult, and your goal is to end the communication safely.

The eyes are known to be the windows of the soul. But no less her mirror is also all those armpits, thighs and ankles that have the honor of being called your body.

Text: Guy Seregin
Illustrations: Tanya Doroshenko (Lebedev Studio)

Speech is wonderful! A man is a very clever girl, since he managed to come up with such an ingenious means of communication. Of course, communication by making sounds is not exclusively our invention: there are few completely soundless boogers on Earth. But nevertheless, it was we, people, who managed to bring it to the absolute. Thousands of languages, hundreds of phonemes, multi-tone dictionaries - a huge work has been done by humanity. And yet, sounds and language are not the only way to transmit thoughts at a distance. And what is most annoying, not even the main one. Because in the animal world, it is customary to communicate not with a word, but with a body. Real communication between living beings is based on non-verbal signals: postures, facial expressions and gestures. And all sorts of rumbling and snorting is just an addition to what your fluffy feathers and spread ears are going to tell the world about. It's funny that we humans forget about it. They were completely wild in their civilization, they trusted the words too much. But we ourselves are still not so much listening to the interlocutor as looking at him.

For example, a person on TV says everything is correct, and his theses are the most positive, but we don’t believe him for a penny, because the signals that his honest, untrained body sends us indicate that his owner is blatantly lying. And the most interesting thing in all this is that not only our body shows what we really feel, but also vice versa: we begin to feel the way the body tells us, depending on what posture it has taken and what actions performs. This idea was once well expressed by the theologian writer Clive Staples Lewis * in his Balamut Letters.

* - Note of Phacochoerus "a Funtika: « Yes, of course you read it! Or at least watched. He wrote The Chronicles of Narnia. True, the writer himself thought that he wrote "Narnia" only for small children, and adults would read his completely different books. Here he, of course, pierced »

His hero, a petty imp, complains to hell that in no way he can teach the bad guy entrusted to his cares, that he is too moral a kid. And from hell, an older comrade advises the demon Balamut: try to convince a person that it is funny to pray before bedtime, on your knees, uncivilized. "People are built in such a way that their train of thought depends on the position of their body, and prayer not on their knees will lose a considerable part of their humility and obedience."

In other words, by changing your postures, you can change a lot. The opinion of others about yourself. Your train of thought. Own life. The main thing is to learn to understand body language enough to at least start talking in it. Here we have provided a list of the most standard "speaking" poses. It doesn't matter if you are at a work meeting or at a party surrounded by promising ladies - this alphabet will help you.

I'm the boss here

(domination)

“Defending its territory, the dominant male seeks to occupy as much space in space as possible. He inflates the comb, spreads his paws wide ... ”This quote from one fascinating book about the life of newts is the best fit for homo sapiens. We do not have a ridge, but we have legs and all sorts of other elbows. It doesn't matter if the "owner" is sitting or standing, but it takes up a lot of space. Being in the doorway, he will press his shoulder against one side of the opening and rest his hand on the other. He will stand with his hands on his hips. Sitting, he will spread his legs wide and rest his palms on the upper thighs.

Try to take one of these poses when you feel embarrassed or depressed - you yourself will be surprised at how dramatically your attitude will change.

Do not be afraid of me

(openness)

Slightly spread arms and palms open in the direction of the interlocutor is a sign that you have nothing to hide. You have neither stones nor poisoned thorns, and you are all open to communication: do with me what you want. A very appropriate posture for communicating with ladies, especially if it is accompanied by a sweet smile.

Independent personality

(pre-aggressive detachment)

Whether you are standing or sitting is not important. Legs spread shoulder-width apart and arms crossed on your chest will tell others that you do not feel constrained, but you are not at all going to interfere with what is happening. Unless, of course, you are forced. This position is adored by the guards of all sorts of villains in films about bandits. They just stand like this and do nothing wrong, and it seems like nothing to do with it at all. But God forbid you force them to join the game! Oh, what will be, what will be ...

Welcome

(inviting pose)

This famous pose is a cross between a master's pose and an open pose. Its meaning: everything around here is mine, but don't hesitate, let's get into the refrigerator with your feet, I'm kind today.

Try to convince me

(provocative pose)

It's nice to see a girl you like or a boss sitting in this position, from whom you intend to shake out the increase. Hands lying one on top of the other seem to create the appearance of a lock, but the thrown back torso gives you room for an attacking maneuver. The whole composition as a whole means: "I still adhere to my opinion, but let's see what you can portray here."

We are not local people

(self-belittling)

The arms on the chest can be crossed in different ways. If you lower your elbows so that they do not stick out impudently on the sides, but hang down like a defeatist, and at the same time squeeze your legs or twist one another, miserably crumpled in a chair, then very soon you yourself will feel small, pitiful and offended by everyone. Unfortunately, this is a very comfortable position, but it is not recommended to sit in it for a long time, even alone. Unless, of course, you are practicing a course of self-denial and getting rid of pride.

Dont touch me

(defensive posture)

If you take a self-belittling pose and spread it to the sides - put your sharp elbows wider, proudly lift your head, direct an aggressive knee and toe of your boot forward, then those around you will understand that you should be treated very carefully. A person sitting in this position is not the most gentle interlocutor. He clearly does not crave close companionship, and in general it is advisable to bypass him at a decent radius, if you do not want a cup of coffee to come to your head.

I'm too lazy to listen to you

(relaxation)

Of course, our head is smart, big and heavy, and it would be a sin not to place it on the offered hand during a long conversation. But keep in mind: it doesn't matter if you put your cheek on your fist or your chin on your palm, subconsciously your interlocutor will take this as a sign that you are tired and you are tired of listening to him. And he will be right.

I am a thinker - I am dull

(involuntary signals)

Popular wisdom has long drawn attention to the fact that smart people, when they think, scratch their foreheads, and stupid people - the back of their heads. A vulgar non-materialistic interpretation explains it this way: they scratch their forehead when they want to drive away unnecessary thoughts from there, and the back of their head - in order to drive one at least one forward. In fact, the meaning of these gestures is determined by the fact that the forehead is often rubbed by people who have a headache (which often happens to thinking citizens), and scratching the back of the head is just one of the common ways to distract oneself at a moment of embarrassment and confusion. For example, when you have no idea what to say or do.

I don't get involved in this business

(self-elimination)

Hands clasped behind the back for more than 15 seconds indicate that this person does not want to get involved in what is now being discussed. If he is in this position for less than 15 seconds, perhaps his back and neck are just numb and he is stretching so imperceptibly.

I'm tired and nervous

(dynamic relaxation)

And if the previous position of relaxation is also accompanied by a rhythmic swaying of the whole body, then this will gradually hint to your interlocutor that he is the most boring and talkative nonentity of all with whom you have ever communicated. At least, this is how he will regard it in his subconscious.

Now how will I jump!

(demonstrative pose)

Fear the manager who, upon entering the meeting room, sat down with his hands on the table in front of him, palms down. He's not just sitting here. He's going to do something now. For example, bang - and will make a revelatory speech or take out a three-kilogram folder of documents and begin to read it. The table for him now is not a table, but a springboard. Now he will push off from his reliable support and soar ...

I am cunning and cunning

(shifting inner emphasis)

Psychologists believe that a person is ill-made for lying. When we deliberately distort reality, we experience such deep inner discomfort that we urgently need to be distracted. For example, make yourself a small collapse of blood circulation - blush or turn pale. But there is also The best way distraction is an instant sensation. For example, rub your hands vigorously, bite your lips, rub your Adam's apple. And the organism, carried away by these vivid experiences, will give up the fact that some part of it at this time shamelessly manipulates the surrounding reality. Rubbing hands - as a sign of satisfaction from a shamelessly profitable deal - has long been international speaking gesture... But besides this, you can add here an energetic massage of the elbow, rubbing with a boot of one leg of the ankle of the other, or a thoughtful scrubbing with the claws of the neck under the cheekbone. All these are signs that your interlocutor is hiding something, under-saying or openly lying.

I flatter and pretend

(fictitious self-belittling)