General rules of conduct at the reception. Official reception etiquette. Rules of conduct at receptions

Reception is a widely accepted form of organizing working meetings that allows you to discuss in a relaxed atmosphere topics that, for a number of reasons, are undesirable to touch on at the official level.

So, the techniques are used to establish, maintain and develop contacts between business partners and friends, officials and foreign colleagues, representatives of various institutions, firms and scientific and technical circles, cultural figures.

Receptions are held to commemorate any events, in particular holidays, anniversaries; in the order of rendering honors to outstanding persons, delegations, organizations; in honor of the signing of any documents, etc.

For a person running a business, the ability to combine solving work problems with a meal is one of the most effective ways achieve success.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner play a significant role in business life. Each option has its own rules. Of course, there are rules that apply in all cases, so to speak, universal, for example, general norms of behavior at the table, but there are also some subtleties in which a business person should be well versed.

Business lunch- a great opportunity to get to know your clients, colleagues, managers or subordinates better. By the way, it is a business lunch that is considered the most decent for a business meeting between a man and a woman.

Since these days, the success of a business depends almost entirely on the ability to establish business relationship, informal atmosphere and additional time spending lunch with your partner should be much more effective in your career than short meetings in a hurry, in the office, on the street, in public places, or faceless phone calls.

However, there are also pitfalls in organizing a business lunch. You should be afraid: to show that you do not know how to behave correctly at the table - this will undermine your prestige; chatting too much to the interlocutor about the details of your personal life - this will destroy your professional image;
drinking too much alcohol - they may think that you have a problem with this; in addition, an excessively drunk person is also a problem for those around him: he is annoying, poorly controlled, does not control his words and actions.

There is one essential thing to keep in mind when it comes to business lunches: you shouldn't be throwing right and left to your business colleagues with the phrase “Let's have lunch together sometime” unless you really have a firm intention to do so. In the business world, lunch is considered a serious event, and it is possible to make such an assumption only when you really want it, and you need to immediately set a specific time and day.

An official reception is such a reception to which those present are invited solely by virtue of their position.

Official receptions are divided into daytime and evening, with or without seating. TO daytime include receptions such as "Glass of Champagne", "Glass of Wine", "Breakfast".

A “glass of champagne” usually starts at 12 noon and lasts about an hour. The reason for organizing such a reception may be the anniversary of a national holiday, the opening of an exhibition, etc. Drinks and snacks are served by the waiters. From the point of view of the organization, this is the simplest form of admission, which does not require much and lengthy preparation.

The technique of the "Glass of Wine" type is similar. The name in this case emphasizes the special nature of the reception.

Breakfast is one of the most common types of formal receptions. It takes place between 12 and 15 o'clock, more often at 12.30 or 13.00. The menu is made taking into account national traditions. Breakfast usually lasts an hour and a half, of which about an hour - at the table and about 30 minutes - for coffee, tea (coffee, tea can be served at the same table or in the living room).

Guests usually come to breakfast in casual clothes, unless the dress code is specifically indicated in the invitation.
In international protocol practice, it is generally accepted that afternoon receptions are less solemn than evening ones.

Evening formal receptions are of several types.
The “cocktail” starts between 5 pm and 6 pm and lasts about two hours. During the reception, waiters serve drinks and cold snacks (in the form of canapes - small sandwiches). Serving hot meals is possible. Sometimes a buffet is arranged, where waiters offer drinks to those who wish.

Reception "a la buffet" is held at the same hours as the "cocktail". However, the buffet reception may include appetizer tables, including hot meals. The guests themselves come to the tables, collect snacks and leave, giving the opportunity to come up to others present.

One of the tables is intended for guests of honor - it should be located so that other guests do not have their backs to it.

Receptions such as "cocktail" and "a la buffet" are held standing. In both cases, in order to emphasize the special solemnity, champagne, ice cream, and coffee can be served by the end. If the reception is held on the occasion of a national holiday or in honor of a distinguished guest, a small concert or film screening may be possible at the end of the reception. The solemnity of the reception can be emphasized by the indication of a special dress code in the invitation.

Lunch is considered the most honorable type of formal reception. It usually starts at 8 pm or 8.30 pm, but no later than 9 pm. According to Russian protocol practice, lunch can start at an earlier time. Lunch usually lasts 2-3 hours or even longer. After the table, at which the guests sit for about an hour, everyone goes to the drawing rooms for a conversation; coffee, tea are served here, in some cases they can be served at the dining table. In the case of a seated reception at the table, guests gather at the appointed time in one of the rooms of the house where they are invited. They are served with soft drinks, beer, whiskey, juices, and sometimes other drinks. Guests can choose to have a drink at the bar. Often lunch involves special form clothes (tuxedo or tailcoat - for men, evening dress - for women).

Dinner starts at 21 o'clock and later and differs from lunch only in the start time. In some countries, on especially solemn occasions, two receptions are arranged in a row: immediately after dinner, a “cocktail” or “a la buffet” reception is held for distinguished guests.

"Lunch-buffet" assumes free seating at small tables for four to six people. Just like at the buffet reception, tables with snacks are set, there are buffets with drinks. Guests gather snacks and sit down at their own discretion at one of the small tables. Guests can either carry wines or they stand on the tables. Tea or coffee is offered either at the same tables or in a different room. Such receptions are often organized after a concert, watching a movie, or during a break from a dance evening. In tropical countries, they are often carried out on outdoors- on the veranda or in the garden. Lunch buffet is less formal than lunch.

Evening receptions also include "tea" held between 4 pm and 6 pm, usually for women. The wife of the chief invites to tea the spouses of the heads of the companies with whom business contacts have been established. For "tea" one or several tables are set, taking into account the number of guests. Sweets, biscuits, fruits, drinks are served. Canapes are not excluded.

In contrast to the official reception, in which all dishes and drinks are served by the waiters without exception, the reception-banquet is a form of service when cold snacks and drinks are placed on the table in advance, and the waiters serve only hot dishes. (It is with this form of customer service that a customer has to deal when he celebrates an event in a restaurant.)

Each technique is preceded by thorough preparation. It is necessary to determine the type of official reception, taking into account the purpose for which it is being organized, the venue, draw up a list of invitees, fill out and send out invitations in advance, draw up a menu and a seating plan at the table when it comes to breakfast, lunch, dinner.

If the reception is organized in a restaurant, then special attention should be paid to preparing the room, setting the table, instructing the waiters who will serve the reception.

When it comes to a reception with a large number of participants, a restaurant with a good and high service culture is chosen.

Making a list of invitees is one of the most important elements preparatory work... The total number of invitees to the reception is determined Even with the most careful study of the list, it cannot be avoided that someone will not be able to attend the reception. This so-called dropout rate is taken into account when estimating the cost of admission.

Modern international protocol practice testifies to the desire of countries to make official receptions modest, avoid excessive pomp, limit or exclude the supply of alcoholic beverages, and refuse too expensive and exotic dishes. Nevertheless, at the official reception, it is necessary to take into account the tastes of the guests, their national and religious traditions. Think in advance about those who eat only vegetarian food or do not eat pork. Game is not served during the hunting ban period.

The etiquette of official receptions implies the use of good quality dishes: crystal, porcelain, silver. Fresh flowers on tables and in living rooms add conviviality and coziness to the premises.

The practice of sending out written invitations to reception has been established. It is best that they be made in a typographic way, with the name of the invitee, his position or rank, type of reception, day, hour and place, are entered by hand. When holding breakfast or dinner with seating arrangements, guests should make sure in advance whether the guest will be able to accept the invitation, and only then send it in writing.

It is customary to send invitations one to two weeks before admission. This allows us to hope that guests will be able to plan their time in such a way as to be able to arrive at the reception.

Having received an invitation, you should carefully read it. This will save you from mistakes and awkward situations in which a person may find himself who does not understand the invitation received. Regardless of the language in which the invitation is written, there should be complete clarity about the following: who is hosting the reception; for what reason; where; when; what should be the dress code; Do you need an answer to the invitation (often on invitation cards in the lower right corner there are letters RSVP: repondnz, s "il vous plaot - please reply).

The information refined as a result of such an analysis will help to make the right decision.

It is advisable to give a written answer to the invitation with a “request to answer”, regardless of whether it is positive or negative. The answer is drawn up on behalf of the recipient of the invitation in a third person, without a signature. It won't be a big mistake if the answer is given over the phone (but in person). In some cases, the protocol provides for a procedure according to which it is mandatory to send a written response (positive or negative) to an invitation to a reception hosted by the head official delegation, an official.

SAMPLE POSITIVE ANSWER
"The President of the German-Russian Cultural Foundation, Mr. O. Vogel, has the honor to acknowledge receipt of the kind invitation of Mr. Mayor of Moscow Yuri Luzhkov for lunch on Tuesday, October 2, at 6 pm, which he gladly accepts."

SAMPLE NEGATIVE ANSWER
“The Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary Finlnmlmi, in connection with his departure on vacation in the coming days, unfortunately, cannot accept the kind invitation of the mayor of Moscow and his wife for breakfast on Friday 6 September this year. in honor of the holiday of the city of Moscow "

In cases where the reception is given in honor of a person whose presence has been agreed in advance, the letters RSVP on the invitation form are crossed out and the letters "r.t." or "for memory" are written above them, or in English "to remind" (by -French "roig titogge").

For non-seated receptions, you do not have to come to the very beginning. You can leave at any time. However, a significant circumstance should be taken into account. If several guests are invited from one institution or department, then it is desirable that the lowest ones come first. And vice versa, when leaving a reception, it is customary that representatives of one department do not leave it until the senior in position leaves. You should not stay at the appointment later than the time specified in the invitation. This will violate the etiquette of formal receptions.

The organization of an official dinner begins with the invitation of the person who will be the main guest at the dinner, and if he accepts the invitation, agreeing with him the date of the dinner. This is usually done during the next business visit to this person or during a special visit to him in this regard.

The invitation must be made a month, if not earlier, before the scheduled date, since the schedule business people very dense today.

After the main guest has accepted the invitation, it is necessary to immediately draw up a list of guests for this dinner and, for the above reasons, urgently send them invitations. As already mentioned, the main guest, in spite of the fact that he accepted the invitation, also needs to send an invitation - an invitation card, in which the words “request to answer” should be crossed out and written “for memory” instead.

On the invitation card for the official reception, only the position of the invitee is indicated. Neither his surname nor the surname of his wife is written. In the text of the invitation, the form is usually used: "have the honor ...".

An invitation to a formal breakfast or lunch is addressed to a person, not to the position that person holds.

It will not be a mistake if you call the invited guests and find out if they would mind accepting the invitation, and if you agree, send them an invitation card, in which the words request to answer should be crossed out and written for memory.

HOW TO MAKE A LIST OF GUESTS

It is necessary to determine what the maximum number of guests can be invited. This will depend on the size of the executive rooms, especially the dining room and dining table. It is recommended to provide for each guest at the table approximately 70-75 cm along the table length. Tightness at the table, both for guests and for service personnel very inconvenient. In addition, when serving food, it creates a danger for any guest to be doused with sauce or gravy. In practice, such cases, although rare, do occur.
It is recommended that before sending out invitations, estimate a plan for the future seating at the table and in case of difficulties in seating, for example, if you intend to invite persons of the same seniority, make the necessary changes to the draft guest list.
It is very important to provide a relaxed atmosphere at lunch, conducive to frank conversations and statements. This can be achieved by selecting guests who are close to the main guest both for business (service) interests, and for coincidence of views, or for personal sympathy, friendship. If people who are not close to the main guest and, moreover, those who are in opposition, are invited to dinner, the dinner will be tight and tense and will be reduced to a formal event.
It is advisable to invite junior employees of the company to dinners and, in general, to receptions in order to familiarize them with vigorous activity and, consequently, thus improve their business qualifications.
It is recommended that your firm's guest list is slightly larger than the outside guest list by at least four junior employees. This will make it possible to put your people at the ends of the tables, since the extreme places are considered less honorable.
By the time the guest list is approved, the printed invitation must be ready.

When filling out invitations, it is very important not to distort the name, title or rank of the guest. Distortion can lead to the return of the invitation and, therefore, complicate the relationship.

Of course, you should not send an invitation "with a spouse" to a widow or single person. To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to have a card index, dossier and make changes to them in a timely manner.

Menu compilation is not as easy as it might seem. The composition of the guests must be taken into account in order to prepare meals in accordance with their religious customs, national traditions or habits.

The breakfast menu includes one or two cold appetizers, one hot fish dish and one hot meat dish, dessert. Serving the first hot course (soup) is also not excluded. Finally, coffee or tea is offered. Soft drinks, beer, vodka, whiskey are served before breakfast. Vodka can be served not before breakfast, but during it, with cold snacks. Dry white wine (chilled) is served with a fish dish, dry red wine (room temperature) for a meat dish, champagne for a dessert, cognac or liqueur for tea or coffee. Served throughout breakfast mineral water.

The lunch menu, based on local protocol practice or tradition at home, includes one or two cold starter dishes, soup, hot fish and hot meat dishes, and dessert. Before dinner, before inviting guests to the common table, light snacks may be offered: nuts, crisp potatoes, dough sticks, etc. After lunch - coffee or tea.

When guests gather, they are served an aperitif: vodka, whiskey, gin, campari and other alcoholic drinks. At lunch itself, vodka is served with an appetizer, for soup (very rarely) sherry or madeira, for hot dishes and dessert - the same as for breakfast.

There is a practice, for example in France, when only champagne is offered to all dishes during the whole lunch (grapefruit is included in the appetizer).

Seating at the table, very important element organizing an official dinner1, although it is difficult to say that in protocol practice it is “not very important”. There are no trifles in it.

Seating is based on one of the most important rules of the protocol - seniority. And not by age, although this is sometimes taken into account to some extent, but mainly by the official and social status of a person.

The following rules are followed seating arrangements.

The places closest to the owner and hostess are considered the most honorable ( place of honor at the table - the middle opposite the front door, and if the door is on the side, on the side of the table that faces the windows facing the street). The farther a place is from these persons, the less honorable it is.

The place on the right hand (on the right side) is more honorable than the place on the left hand (on the left side).

The first to sit on the right and left hand of the owner are women, from the hostess - men. Then the seats alternate: a man is seated next to the woman, and vice versa.

A woman is not given a place next to a woman, and a husband is not given a place with his wife.
A woman is not offered a seat at the end of a table unless a man is seated at the end of the table.

A married woman has the seniority of her husband.

If the mistress of the house is absent, her place can be taken by the wife of one of the diplomatic workers of the mission.

The seat opposite the host may be offered to the most honored guest.

Foreign guests of equal rank with guests - employees of the diplomatic mission - are given a priority in seating.

When seating, it is necessary to take into account knowledge foreign languages sitting next to guests.

The diplomatic etiquette of formal receptions provides for the following practice of designating seats at the table. Small-sized rectangular seating cards and covers are made of thick paper, on which the names of the participants of the reception are written.

In the room where the guests gather, or just in front of the entrance, the guests are offered a seating plan. In accordance with it, each seat at the table is marked with a cover card. Guests are introduced to the seating plan. If there are any difficulties, then it is necessary to contact the waiter or the head waiter, who is obliged to indicate to the guest the place intended for him and accompany him to him.

In order to facilitate the work of drawing up a seating plan, it is recommended that the general guest list be divided into two parts - into foreign (not your) guests and a guest list from your side. Both lists are based on the seniority of the guests.

In the dining room, the guest finds his place at the table and checks it against the card lying on the highest glass or near the cutlery where his name is printed, stands behind the back of his chair and waits for the invitation of the dinner hosts to sit down at the table. It is not customary to sit down before the owner and hostess sit down.

At lunchtime, it is recommended that the head waiter (maitre d ') signal the waiters to change dishes only after all guests have eaten the served dish. This is especially important when serving dessert. The host and hostess should not leave the table until they are sure that all guests have eaten their ice cream.

Speeches and toasts are made depending on the event on the occasion of which the dinner is given, from local protocol practice, as well as by prior arrangement with the main guest.

Both speeches and toasts are made after dessert, before champagne, when it is poured to all guests.

At mass receptions, toasts are rarely pronounced. In some countries (for example, Great Britain, the Netherlands), according to the established tradition, towards the end of the reception, a toast in honor of the monarch and the performance of the national anthem are provided. A guest leaving the reception prior to this ceremony can offend the hosts. As for the receptions with seating at the table, here the attitude towards toast can be different. Sometimes (more often it happens in Moscow) at mid-level receptions, many toasts are pronounced during the entire feast, both by the hosts and by the guests. But more often, and this is apparently more rational, there is one exchange of toasts - with champagne. The host is the first to make a toast, addressing the main guest, and then he makes a reciprocal toast. These toasts emphasize the main meaning of the reception, focus the attention of the guests on it. With this order, the entire course of the reception is calmer and more natural. Simply put, the abundance of toasts sometimes interferes with communication, and sometimes the toast catches the invitees at the moment when they are eating the next dish.

In the afternoons, guests are invited to the other executive rooms for coffee and tea. Liquors and cognac are offered from alcoholic drinks, juices and mineral water are also served. There is no strict seating for coffee and tea. Guests sit at small tables, choosing neighbors for conversation in whom they are interested.

The guests leave after the main guest has left. On the eve of dinner or on the day, its host usually gathers all his guests in order to provide them with personal attention to the invited guests, to determine the direction of the conversations.

For the reception to be successful, it is necessary not to miss a single, even the smallest, detail during its preparation and implementation. So, you need to think in advance where guests will park their cars, and perhaps someone should be entrusted with taking care of this at the entrance of the house where the reception takes place.

Guests are greeted at the entrance to the premises by the owner with the hostess or one owner if the wives are not invited. Handshakes are exchanged, congratulations are pronounced, if the reception is dedicated to a solemn date, you can throw a few words, but in no case should you start a long conversation with the owners at the entrance to the room. This can be inconvenient for other guests, as they will have to wait until the conversation is over.

If a reception is given with a seating at the table, then the number of guests, as a rule, will be less than at a mass reception of the "buffet" type. In this case, the hosts should allocate their time before inviting to the table in such a way as to pay attention, if possible, to all the guests, at least briefly talk to each.

At a large reception of the "buffet" type, these possibilities are limited. Here you should pay maximum attention to the main guest and his "team". A very common mistake at such receptions is the tendency of the representatives of the inviting party to group and discuss their affairs instead of paying attention to the invitees, helping them get comfortable, offering drinks and snacks.

Guests should not try to discuss any serious issues with the hosts, because they have a lot of concerns and should be equally available to everyone.

Before being invited to the table and after leaving the table, for tea or coffee, men and women form their own groups. Important political issues can also be discussed here, but mostly issues of a more general nature.

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Nowadays, many treat the rules of etiquette as something outdated and optional. But the essence of correct behavior lies not in prim observance of hundreds of small rules and formalities, but above all in a respectful, benevolent attitude towards another person, whoever he may be. As the French moralist writer Jean de La Bruyère said, "The essence of courtesy is the desire to speak and behave in such a way that our neighbors are happy with us and with ourselves."

Seating guests. If there is no seating plan, guests will stand up until the event host shows them their seats. The following seating arrangement is considered traditional: the host of the event (the hero of the occasion) sits at the head of the table, the seats next to him are intended for the most honorable and senior guests, and young people and children sit at the other end of the table.
Ladies sit down first, men do not sit down until the ladies have taken their seats. Men help the ladies to sit down, move chairs.
It is believed that latecomers are expected no more than 20 minutes, then proceed to the meal. If you yourself are late - apologize and quickly join the general conversation (without dwelling on the topic of how and why you were late).
If some dishes and drinks do not suit you due to diet or contraindications, you do not need to publicly announce this so as not to offend the hosts of the event. Just don't eat them.
Surprisingly, but a place for toothpicks in the washroom, not on the table... It is in the restroom to use a toothpick, bury drops, take pills, correct makeup, hair and costume details.

How to use cutlery

If you accidentally drop the appliance, do not go under the table for him... Ask your waiter or event host to serve you a new one.
The device you started using shouldn't touch the table anymore... It should be put on the edge of the plate, but not on the tablecloth.
Do not cut the entire serving on the plate into small pieces at once. It is believed that this way the dish cools down faster and loses its taste. It will be more correct to cut off one piece at a time and put it in your mouth immediately.

How to hold devices correctly. The fork should be held with the prongs downward, thus pricking pieces of food onto it (and not scooping up, like with a spoon, unless the dish is soft, such as puree). Index fingers are located along the handles of the fork and knife, the rest of the fingers grasp the ends of the handles. This is called the "hidden handle method". A less common American tradition suggests that the fork is held in the same way as a writing pen, between three fingers.
According to etiquette, there are two ways to use cutlery - classic European(continental) and American... According to the first, the knife and fork are held in the hands throughout the entire meal. The knife is not put aside, even if it is not needed yet. The American method allows the possibility of putting the knife on the edge of the plate, then the fork is taken in the right hand and eaten only with it.
If you are asked to hand over the appliance, hand it over handle forward, holding the middle.

Date etiquette

According to etiquette, the lady participates in the choice of dishes and chooses the first... A common mistake is to tell a man, "Choose your choice." Better to ask: "What would you advise to order?" The order to the waiter is voiced by a man.
A lady shouldn't choose the cheapest meals., since this can be taken as an allusion to the failure of the man. But the most expensive ones are not worth ordering either: this can make the wrong impression.

When a waiter brings a bottle of wine, the male guest does not have to uncork it and pour the drink on his own: this is the waiter's job. But you can already pour a second glass without it. First the man fills the lady's glass, then his own. The glass should be slightly less than half full.

By the rules of etiquette, the gentleman pays first. A lady should not interfere, put money on a man or ask: "Well, how much is there?" If you really want to demonstrate your financial independence, it is better to ask the waiter in advance to split the bill or invite the man to pay a tip.

If a man and a woman are just friends, it is possible to pay the bill in half. In this case, the man, having studied the check, tells the woman the amount of her order, and they agree on a tip. It's worth paying if you really enjoyed the service. In some restaurants, the tip is already included in the bill, then the check contains the phrase "Service included" or "Tips included".

Tips are left after the completion of the service. First you settle the bill, the waiter brings you the change, and only then you leave a tip. It is not recommended to say "No change" it sounds arrogant.

Tipping isn't all about money... It is also your smile and sincere gratitude to the waiter or bartender.

Do not empty a handful of coins from your wallet. in the hand of the waiter, this is bad form, and besides, it interferes with the work of the employee.

Many are worried about the question how to tip if you pay the bill by credit card ... In some establishments, it is possible to include a tip in the total bill, but not in all. Another possibility is to transfer tips to the waiter on his card using special mobile applications, for example Plazius or Tea. But this also may not always work, and therefore it is best, of course, to take some cash with you to the restaurant in advance.

What rules of etiquette do you consider necessary and useful?

Any reception must be carefully prepared. V organization of reception includes: choosing the type of reception, drawing up a "list of invited persons, sending out invitations, drawing up a plan for seating guests at the table, drawing up a menu, setting the table and serving guests, preparing toasts and speeches, thinking over the order of the reception.

In determining date of admission it should be assumed that receptions are not held on holidays and non-working days, as well as on days of national mourning (those appointed earlier are canceled).

Reception invitations sent on a special form. The name, surname of the invitee, his position are to be printed or entered by hand. It is advisable to send invitations one to two weeks before admission.

Seating guests at the table at official breakfasts, lunches and dinners in accordance with generally accepted rules, which are based on strict observance of the official or social status of guests.

Section IV. Applied Ethics: Problems and Solutions

Chapter 17. Ethics and etiquette

Violation of this rule can be interpreted as deliberate damage to the guest or his country, which can lead to unpleasant consequences. Therefore, it is necessary to know exactly where the guests will be seated. For this purpose, a rough plan their seating, in accordance with which each seat at the table is indicated by a special card.

When seating guests, the following rules are observed: the first is the place to the right of the hostess of the house, the second - to the right of the owner; in the absence of the hostess, the first place is to the right of the owner of the house, the second - to the left of him: a guest of an especially high rank can be seated opposite the owner, in this case the second place will be to the right of him; if the mistress of the house is absent, one of the invited women (with her consent) or a man of the highest rank may be put in her place. It is advisable that the woman does not sit next to the woman, the husband and wife, the woman should not sit at the end of the table. The knowledge of the languages of the guests sitting next to it is taken into account.

When drawing up a menu it is recommended to take into account the tastes of guests, their national and religious traditions. So, it would be an omission to include, for example, meat on fast days or pork in the menu if Muslims are at the reception. On the other hand, a vegetarian guest will be pleased to be served a vegetarian meal.

One of the manifestations of hospitality is attention to customs, tastes, and dining traditions of guests. Therefore, when choosing a menu, it is necessary to remember about the peculiarities of the guests' national cuisine. To offer a guest a “familiar” dish, familiar to him, is a touching sign of respect from the hosts.

The rules of conduct at all receptions - from formal to home - begin with regulation the appearance of guests at the reception. The general rule is the requirement to arrive at the right time.

At the official reception, guests gather for 30-35 minutes and after a short pause (it is used for mutual greetings and acquaintances) are invited to the table. Being late is considered a violation of etiquette and can be perceived with resentment.

At official receptions two types of service: when all

snacks and meals are on the table and when guests are served by

cyantes. Abroad, the latter type of service is more common, when waiters approach guests, pour water, drinks, then serve snacks and dishes on large trays in the order indicated in the menu.

The service starts with the lady sitting to the right of the owner. The dishes are brought to the guest on the left side, and he puts them on his plate with the help of dispensers. You cannot use your own forks and spoons for this purpose. Only one serving should be taken as servings can be prepared according to the number of guests. The dishes laid out by the waiter are served on the right side.

It is not customary to start eating until the hostess of the house starts. Men have to wait until the ladies start eating. At the table, you should keep a conversation with both neighbors (even if one of them is unpleasant to you). It is desirable to talk about something calm, without touching on sensitive topics: a witty light conversation on topics that contribute to appetite is preferable.

If you need to say something to the person sitting behind your neighbor, then speak behind him. A conversation "through a neighbor" should not be long, it can consist of a remark, a joke, a short phrase.

Don't touch the other person to get their attention. There is no need to talk about the reasons prompting you not to eat any dish.

The best time to say a drinking speech or a toast - break or pause between meals when those at the table are not eating.

The speech should not be too long or too pretentious. The person who wants to take the floor gets up to get the attention of the guests and starts talking. The table speech ends with a toast. It is impolite to continue eating or talking to your neighbors while someone is speaking.

It is recommended that you finish eating with everyone else so as not to delay others. As soon as the guests have finished eating, the hostess gets up, and everyone else follows her. The men help the ladies leave the table by pushing back their chairs.

Before leaving guests say goodbye to the hostess and host, thank you for the hospitality and an interesting evening, but not for the treat.

47S . Section IV. Applied Ethics: Problems and Solutions

Chapter 17. Ethics and etiquette

It is not recommended to stay at the reception unnecessarily longer than the time specified in the invitation, as this can be burdensome for the hosts. An unfavorable impression is formed when guests leave the reception all at once, it is best to disperse gradually.

Such are the general outline, etiquette rules of conduct at official events: diplomatic receptions, presentations, dinner parties.

One of the problems of etiquette in both formal and informal events is the choice and presentation of gifts and souvenirs. When choosing a gift, you must always clearly understand who it is intended for. Gifts for officials, business partners, relatives, friends or acquaintances have their own specifics. For the first, a small author's picture can be a great gift, since our artists are always in fashion. Any guest from the West will be glad to see a Palekh or Fedoskino casket, a Zhostovo tray, a Dumkovo clay toy, Belarusian straws or ceramics.

Only friends and close relatives are allowed to give personal items. A good gift can be perfumery, cosmetics, leather goods, beautiful dishes. It is appropriate for friends to give a box of expensive sweets (loose sweets are not accepted), cognac, champagne.

In doing so, do not forget what you gave earlier. Only alcoholic beverages can be re-presented. But remember that it is not customary to give alcoholic drinks without a branded box. Never give a watch to anyone - even in the West, and in the East, this is a bad omen. Well-published books and albums, on the other hand, are a wonderful gift.

Flowers are always a universal gift for women. Unlike other gifts, flowers are handed over after removing the packaging (with the exception of decorative cellophane packaging). Flowers can be given for any reason, but it should be done at the right time. For example, it is inconvenient to come with a bouquet to a crowded lunch or dinner party. A woman can give flowers to a woman or an elderly man, but to a young man only if he is seriously ill.

In the business community, gifts are made to create an atmosphere of goodwill and to build trust, they can activate business and approve a favorable

business climate. Moreover, in different countries there are national peculiarities of giving gifts.

In Japan, for example, since feudal times there has been an officially approved procedure for the official exchange of gifts when making transactions. This ceremony, called "oseibo", is usually performed in the first half of December. Today, the Japanese spend huge sums of money on oseibo every year, giving traditional gifts such as seaweed, butter or coffee to their superiors and others with whom they wish to maintain good relations.

With the exception of Christmastide, Americans have no set dates for giving gifts to symbolize the strengthening of business relationships, and there are no specific items designed for this purpose: to strengthen business relationships and prove your favor to a subordinate, client or customer, you can use any occasion.

Unofficial events - home celebrations, receptions, visiting cafes and restaurants - also have their own rules of preparation, conduct and behavior. In some ways, these rules coincide, in some ways they differ. It is these differences that we have to consider.

At the restaurant and at a party

A visit to a restaurant - it is a cross between an official or an unofficial event. On the one hand - the solemnity and "publicity" of the atmosphere, on the other - a narrower, familiar, and often intimate circle of friends. This is the reason for the specific features of behavior in a restaurant.

A restaurant, like a theater, begins with a coat rack. Here, in front of the entrance to the hall, visitors undress, examine themselves in the mirror, correct their hair and clothes. Significant defects in appearance are eliminated in the toilet.

A man enters the restaurant hall first, and his companion follows him. If a woman was the first to enter the hall, the man on the way to the table is a little ahead of her, finds places and helps the lady to take the most convenient of them. The most convenient places are usually considered: by the wall - facing the hall, and in the middle of the hall - facing the entrance. The man sits down after the lady has sat down. If the table is large, then it should be seated to the right of you, if the table is small, then opposite.

Similar information.

General rules of conduct at an official reception

After the guests take off their outerwear and put themselves in order, they are invited to go into the living room, where the table is set. Moreover, if someone meets the guests, the man must give the woman the right to go first. If there are no accompanying persons into the living room, the man accompanying the lady must enter first, and the lady half a step behind him on the right side. She doesn't have to go in first. Then the man finds a place for the lady, and he sits to the right of her or to the place indicated in the diagram, if it is a dinner with seating at the table.

If the room permits, before dinner, guests are gathered in a separate room, where they get to know each other and await the arrival of the rest of the guests. When meeting, the following rule must be observed: a man is introduced to a woman, a young man - to an older one. In some exceptional cases, a man may introduce himself, and he must give his full name and surname. During the greeting, a man must definitely stand up, while a woman is allowed to sit by etiquette. If a young girl greets an older person, she must stand up. While exploring, guests are offered a dessert cocktail.

Invitation to the table

When the hostess invites you to the table, you should slowly follow her into the living room. In this case, unfinished cocktails and other drinks should be left where they are, unless the hostess suggests: "Take your drinks with you." Other drinks or meals may be served at the table, not suitable for a cocktail.

After the hostess walks into the living room, there is no need to wait, showing excessive modesty, while other guests follow her. You can safely enter the dining room first after the hostess.

A man must look after the lady who sits to his right. Having escorted the lady to the table, the man must move the chair, and when she sits down, move it. A lady should sit on a chair without straightening her skirt or dress. The purse must not be placed on the table or held on your lap. It should be hung on the left side of the back of the chair. If it has the shape of a book, then it must be placed on a chair in the back left, otherwise the waiter on the right may inadvertently hit it and drop it.

A man should sit on a chair without touching the back of the chair with his back. With his hands he can lean on the table, and a woman can only put her hands on her knees.

If a cold snack is already on the table, you need to wait until the hostess picks up a fork or spoon. After that, you can start your meal, carefully watching the hostess.

If several guests have already been served a hot dish, one of them can take a fork and start eating, even if the hostess forgets to say: "Please, proceed."

An exchange of toasts may take place at official receptions. At breakfast, lunch and dinner receptions, toast should be made after dessert, when champagne has been poured to all guests. For other types of receptions, toasts should be made no earlier than 10-15 minutes after the start of the reception. It is not customary to make toasts at official breakfasts, lunches and dinners when appetizers are served.

The toast should not be too tight. For example, you can say: "I drink for Elena Mikhailovna - an excellent leader and a charming woman." You should not think that magnificent speeches are expected from the speaker, etc. After making a toast or speech, you should not raise your hand with a glass too high and reach across the table in order to clink glasses with one of the guests - this can cause inconvenience to those sitting nearby.

Toast is best done in the afternoon when the hot dishes are finished. If the table is covered with cold snacks, it is quite possible to start your meal with a good toast. While the toast is being proclaimed, guests should not eat, rearrange dishes, or talk.

Nowadays, ashtrays are rarely placed on the dining table, as many people quit smoking, and someone does not tolerate tobacco smoke. If the ashtrays were not placed on the table, then the hostess does not want the guests to smoke while eating. Smokers must wait until lunch is over. In general, you cannot smoke at the reception without the permission of the hostess. If such permission is received, it is still worth clarifying where exactly smoking is allowed. Sometimes they may not be allowed to smoke in the living room due to the fact that the curtains are soaked in smoke, after which an unpleasant smell does not disappear from them for a long time.

A smoking area can be set aside in the kitchen, on the balcony or in the hallway. You must definitely ask the hostess about it.

If the hostess allowed smoking at the reception, this does not mean that all smokers should immediately get out their cigarettes and start smoking. She can give such permission simply out of a sense of hospitality. Therefore, you should be tactful in relation to the non-smokers present in the room, and not smoke one cigarette after another. It is also impolite to smoke for everyone at the same time. If the reception is taking place in a restaurant or cafe, smoking is allowed only after the main course is eaten. During this time, waiters can bring ashtrays and ask if they can bring cigarettes. However, guests can smoke their own cigarettes. It is forbidden to smoke before eating while waiting for the waiters.

When ashtrays are served, it means that it is already possible to light a cigarette. Then the man must ask permission from the lady sitting next to him. Then he can take out a cigarette with a lighter and, turning half-turned to the lady, ask: "Will you keep me company?" The lady can answer: "With pleasure" - and get a cigarette. When the lady brings the cigarette to her mouth, the man should get up and approach her from the right side and, slightly turning his hand to the right, light a lighter or a match, then turn to the woman and bring the fire to the cigarette.

It is improper to light a match or lighter right in front of the cigarette. This is considered very uncivilized, since a spark, smoke or fumes from a lighted match can get into the lady's eyes or simply cause some unpleasant sensation. Therefore, a match or a lighter should be lit aside, and then brought to the lady. The woman lights a cigarette, and the man returns to his place, where he lights up himself.

In England, it is only allowed to light a cigarette at a reception after a toast to the queen or king has been made.

While smoking, you should not lower your head and blow out smoke in this position, as in this case the clothes will be saturated with an unpleasant odor. Smoke should only be blown up. They extinguish the cigarette with a vertical movement on the bottom of the ashtray. The ashes are shaken off by lightly tapping the cigarette on the edge of the ashtray. Do not shake ash into a plate, saucer or orange peel. This is uncivilized. You can not give a light through the table, through someone or in front of someone's face.

Helping the hostess

When the hostess gets up from the table to transfer something or remove from the table, there is no need to try to help her until she herself asks about it. At the same time, the guest can serve tea or coffee to other guests.

If the table is served by a waiter or butler, guests should not help him, for example, hand over empty plates or clean them of food debris. The exception is a large lunch in a restaurant, when the waiter is unable to reach some part of the table. In this case, one of the guests can take a plate from the waiter and put it in its proper place. Guests invited to a formal dinner should not talk to a servant. It is allowed to say: “Thank you, you don’t need to” - or make any request. If the guest is well acquainted with the servant and did not see her before dinner, when she gives him something, you should say hello to her and say: "Good evening, Marina, glad to see you."

There is no need to insist on helping the hostess remove the dishes from the table or wash them, even if no one is helping her. Especially do not offer your services to those guests who are invited to the official reception for the first time. If the guest is well acquainted with the hostess and after offering help he heard in response: "No, I will do everything later," - he should not be too persistent.

As much as a guest wants to help the hostess or just be in her company, he should not follow her into the kitchen or distract her with conversations when she finishes the final preparations for dinner.

After lunch

Until the hostess puts the napkin on the table, guests should not do this either. If the hostess signals the end of dinner, the guests should interrupt the conversations they have begun and go where the hostess says.

After dinner, guests may be invited to play a game. Regardless of how they treat them, guests should try with all their appearance to show that they really liked this idea, and even better it would be to help the hostess organize entertainment.

When the guests have little in common, it often turns out that the entertainment, which the hostess usually avoids, is united, and the evening, which seemed dreary and tense, is interesting and fun.

Guests should not abuse the hospitality of the hosts. Therefore, you need to know when it is time to leave the reception. You should try to notice when the hostess or other guests begin to show signs of fatigue and fatigue. This is the time to leave. If the guest of honor was present at the reception, he must leave first. However, this rule is almost forgotten, and guests often leave, without waiting for the guest of honor to say goodbye and leave.

The fact that it is impossible to stay for a long time at a party and how to determine that it is already time to leave was said above.

If one of the guests arrives in the car of another guest, it will be the second to decide when to leave the reception. The first may say, "I'll be ready as soon as you decide to leave." However, if the invitee expects to leave the appointment ahead of the closing time, he must arrive in his own car.

How not to behave at a reception

You should not enter the living room wearing a coat. You are allowed to take only a hat and a cane, not an umbrella. Everything else should be left in the hallway or where the hostess will indicate.

Do not enter the premises with a smoking cigarette. When greeting, you should not stretch out your hand to a lady or a person of an older age or rank, until they do it themselves. Failure to shake the outstretched hand can offend or seriously insult the person.

No need to try to shake hands with everyone present. A greeting from the owner and hostess is mandatory, and the rest can just bow slightly. When greeting, you need to smile. A smile disposes of the interlocutor. During the greeting, you cannot keep your hand in your pocket and a cigarette in your mouth.

At your pre-dinner reception, take your time to sit down. Wait for the hostess and host to sit down and invite the rest. Whenever a lady enters the room, men must get up from their seats.

While at the reception, you do not need to stare at furniture, paintings and other interior items, touch the interlocutor with your hand in order to attract his attention.

When escorting a lady to the table, a man should not offer her his left hand. You cannot introduce someone after the guests have sat down at the table. Regardless of whether a man is familiar with the lady sitting next to him, he should pay her attention and engage her in conversation.

During lunch, do not tuck the napkin under the collar or spread it over your chest. The napkin should be in your lap. No need to sway in a chair while sitting at a table.

Do not eat too quickly or fill your mouth with a lot of food. You cannot eat soup from the end of the spoon. You should also not ask for a second soup. You can not bend over the plate, you should keep as straight as possible.

To get anything off the table, do not reach over another guest's plate. Food at the table cannot be eaten with a knife, it is considered very indecent. You should not bring the knife to your mouth, and also use the knife to put food on the fork. Take as much on the plug as it can fit on. Do not eat with a spoon what you can eat with a fork.

Don't sit too close to or too far from the table. When sitting at a table, do not put your elbows on it.

Portioned meals are served to the guest on the right side, while those that are served in their entirety are carried around the table and served to the guest on the left side.

You should not eat the last spoonful of soup or the last piece of meat. You cannot spit bones onto a plate. To do this, use a fork, which is brought to the lips, and then removed from the mouth is placed on a plate. Fruit pits are removed from the mouth using a dessert spoon or a teaspoon.

If the table is served by a servant, you should not ask the neighbor to serve any dish. If you drop the appliance on the floor, you should ask to bring another one.

If a guest is invited to sing or play on musical instrument and also to tell something, he should not refuse to do it.

If there are dances at the reception, be sure to invite the hostess or her daughter to the dance.

You should not wipe your face with a napkin, you can only lightly rub it over your lips. After use, it should be placed casually on the table and not folded. It is better not to use a toothpick at the table. As a last resort, this should be done as discreetly as possible.

There is no need to constantly treat a guest. The host and hostess should not be the first to finish eating. They should wait for other guests, especially when the last dish is served. Men should not leave the table before women get up. Moreover, they should not sit down until the ladies have left the room.

If a meal is served with asparagus, crayfish, or roast meat and poultry, small bowls of flavored water are brought to guests so they can rinse their fingertips. To do this, first dip the fingers of one hand, and then the other. After rinsing their hands, they wipe them with a napkin.

In Europe, it is considered permissible to remove a stuck piece with a toothpick right at the table, covered with a napkin.

At formal dinners, as a rule, lemon is not placed in the gargle, although flower petals may float on the surface of the water.

After the chickens, finger-wiping tobacco is served wet wipes... They can be put on the bread plate in advance even when setting the table.

If an oriental meal is served at the reception, such as pilaf, chilled wet towels should also be served before meals. They wipe their hands, and in very hot weather, it is allowed to wipe the forehead and lips. Used towels should be returned to the tray.

If the bone is wrapped in parchment paper, you can pick it up and gnaw it. When such paper is not available, meat should only be eaten with a knife and fork. A sauce dish such as a stew may also contain bones. In this case, each piece of meat is first freed from them. To do this, cut the pulp with a knife or remove it with a fork, holding the bone with your hand. The bone is taken with a knife or fork and moved to the edge of the plate, and the pulp is eaten like a regular piece of meat.

If a guest is offered food or drinks that are allergic or disliked, the guest can politely refuse it by saying, “No, thank you” or “No, thank you.” But, according to the rules of good taste, it is still better to take at least a little of each dish.

The guest is not obliged to explain to others why he does not eat this or that dish and does not drink this or that drink. However, if the hostess asks him about this, the guest can answer her without attracting the attention of the other guests.

When refusing a dish served by a waiter, you need to say quietly: "No, thanks" or just shake your head. To refuse wine or any other drink, just touch the edge of the glass with your index finger.

This text is an introductory fragment. From the book ABC of good form the author Podgayskaya A.L.

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At business receptions, your behavior at the table speaks volumes. It shows how meticulous you are with the details that should be an integral part of the life of any employee who wants to achieve and maintain a competitive level.

The conventions that you must follow during the appointment depend on what kind of reception it is and what your role is in it.

Business lunch rules

When meeting someone at a restaurant, wait in the lobby, unless you are asked not to.

If you are the first to sit down at the table, wait for the others and do not order a drink.

Before placing an order, carefully check with the person who announced you how much he expects to spend. Ask him: "What do you recommend?"

Order only the main food (salad, main course and drink). If the person who invited you offers a dessert, order it.

The napkin should be placed on your lap after everyone is seated at the table. It can be folded in half. At the end of the meal, place the napkin on the table to the right of the cutlery.

Wait until everyone at the table has been served before enjoying your meal.

Offer common meals to others first and only then put food to yourself. Before serving yourself, offer the food closest to you, the neighbor on the left.

Eat at the same pace as the person you are dining with.

Solid food should be on your left, liquid food on your right.

Appliances are used in accordance with their location, starting with the extreme ones and ending with those that are next to the plate. If you stop using the appliance from time to time, then place it only on the edge of the plate, not on the tablecloth.

If the salad contains pitted olives, what should be done? For such cases, remember the rule: what gets into the mouth with the help of cutlery is also removed from the mouth with their help. The bone taken out with a fork or spoon is placed on the edge of the plate.

To let the waiter know that you are taking a break, simply place the knife with the handle to the right with the tip facing you, and the fork with the handle to the left and teeth up.

If you need to leave the table for a short time, then do it during the change of dishes. Once in this situation, place your napkin on the table to the left of your cutlery. This is another sign for the waiter that you haven't finished eating yet.

At the end of the meal, both devices are placed on the plate in parallel.